Monday, October 5, 2009

UNCLAIMED ASSETS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS: WHY DON'T CELEBRITIES WANT THEIR FREE MONEY?!

UNCLAIMED ASSETS OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS
BY
CHARLES ZIGMAN
October 5, 2009





Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman have an old bank account sitting around with $71,451.99 in it -- and they might not even know it exists!


During these unusually harsh economic times, wouldn’t it be great if each of us had some extra money coming to us – money we didn’t even know we had? Well, many of us do – and I’m not just talking about those tax refunds we’re not going to be getting.

About a decade ago, I was watching one of those no-longer extant magazine-format shows in which local television used to specialize – “2 on the Town,” “Eye on L.A.” or one of their ilk – and one of the shows featured a story about Unclaimed Assets.

Basically, the Treasury Department, or the State Controller’s Office, of every state has a website – in California this happens to be the California Bureau of Unclaimed Assets, led by Controller John Chiang (http://scoweb.sco.ca.gov/UCP/) and in New York it’s the New York State Office of the State Comptroller (http://wwe1.osc.state.ny.us/ouf/oufSearchAction.cfm).


You can go to these websites – you’ll need to pick websites corresponding with states in which you’ve lived or worked – type in your name, and find out if the state you live in, or used to live in, is holding some money for you. Maybe you overpaid on a bill at a store, or possibly you’re due a refund from a utility company.

Maybe you thought you had closed down a bank account years, or even decades, ago, but you didn’t, and some interest has accrued over the years; possibly, you might have some dividends coming to you from a stock that you’ve forgotten about, or maybe you were even part of some class-action lawsuit and there’s a little settlement check with your name on it; in another scenario, maybe you didn’t know about this money, because you changed your address and nobody could find you, or they misspelled your name or address on your paycheck. Basically, when any financial institution or former employer has been unable to contact you, it turns your assets over to the state’s treasury department.

What you can do – and this is actually kind of fun and mesmerizing – is to go to one of these websites, type in your name, and find out if, per the song lyrics, there are “pennies from heaven, for you and me.” If you see your name on the website and you learn that you’re owed some money, you mail in the form with a copy of some ID – the Controller’s Office will need copies of your driver’s license and your social security card – as well as the specific claim number (it’s available on the website), and you’ll get your check. It might take several months or even a year, but eventually you get it, and you get it, in toto; you can say what you want about the government, but they don’t subtract any fees. (In fact, beware of other, “third-party” websites, which are not the official government websites I’ve mentioned above; these sites offer to collect these monies from the government on your behalf and, in exchange, they help themselves to a rather hefty commission. But why not find your money yourself, the “official” way, with no fees, and keep all of that beautiful scratch for yourself?)

While I didn’t happen to come across any money which was owed to me, personally (my luck, in this life, is very consistent), in a moment of extreme ultra-boredom, and because the information on the State Controller’s website is available to the public, I typed in names of every single one of my family members, and I found out that my father, for example, is due a couple of thousand dollars from interest which accrued on a bank account which he thought he had closed in the early 1960s, and I also found out that my sister was due $75.00, for over-payment at a clothing store.

Next, I began typing in names of deceased relatives, and I quickly discovered that many of them have unclaimed assets, too. (If you’re the family member of a deceased person, and you can prove it by mailing in the appropriate paperwork – I’m assuming that the State Controller’s Office will want a copy of the death certificate, as well – you are entitled to receive your dearly departed’s money, as well.)

Anyway, now I was in the groove: I next began typing in names of celebrities – the shmancy people! – and you wouldn’t believe what I came across. There are a great number of celebrities who are due royalties, residuals, and unpaid wages from movies and t.v. shows – earnings which they’ve never tried to collect, either because they didn’t know about them, or maybe because such “paltry sums,” many being in the thousands of dollars, are unimportant to them, so the movie studios and record companies turned them over to the government. (Celebrities blow their nose in $100 bills, right? If I were one of the fancy people, that’s what I would do!) Also, most celebrities have business managers who handle their money for them, so they don’t even know what they have, anyway; in other words, a lot of this might be attributed to carelessness on the part of “somebody else.” Anyway, here is what I uncovered, and all of this information is in the public record, which is to say that all of the information in this article is available to anybody with internet access.

I’ve tried to mention every celebrity I could think of, dead or alive: I had my t.v. on in the background while I was writing this, and each time a celebrity passed across my purview, I performed a search for him or her on the California Controller’s Office website. If you see a super-famous celebrity you like and he or she is not on this list, it’s either because he or she has no assets to collect (Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Jim Carrey, The Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen people), or it’s an omission on my part – or, it’s probably because I’m pushing 40 (okay, the truth is, I've already pushed it!) and, as I freely admit, I have no idea who a lot of the newer, younger celebrities are. My frame of reference for pop-culture figures mostly stops, at the very latest, around 1996 – although I did, with the help of some helpful younger family members, attempt to add a few “current/new” celebrities, in the hopes of attaining for myself, if not “street cred,” than, at least, “sidewalk cred.” I have not included reality t.v. “stars” on this list, because reality t.v. gives me both the willies and the heebie-jeebies, nor will you see any mention of any prominent sports figures, because I am, very proudly, not a sports fan. I’d rather get waterboarded than watch any team sport.

All of the following names and claims are courtesy of the California website and I have verified them all. I have not listed, for example, most celebrity names which are common – that is to say, I have not mentioned any name which a celebrity shares with a lot of other people, because it would be difficult for me to verify if it is the right person; for example, the California State Controller’s website shows twenty full pages of different Californians who happen to be named “Cher,” a boatload of people with the surname “Jonas,” and between one and five pages each of various people named “Michael Jackson,” “James Cameron,” “Michael Douglas,” “Jennifer Lopez,” “Brian Wilson,” “Dennis Wilson,” “George Lucas,” “George Lopez,” “Michael Mann,” “Michael Moriarty,” “Maureen McCormick,” “David Morse,” “Samuel Jackson,” “Mary Hart,” “Robert Reed,” “Robin Williams,” “Paul Williams,” “Jerry Garcia,” “Joan Crawford,” “Paul Harvey” (the syndicated newsman-guy!), “Randolph Scott,” and “Dick Powell.” There is even an entire page of different “Glenn Campbells” – yes, there are loads of “Glenn Campbells” in Southern California; don’t worry, it surprised me, too. There are even a couple of completely unrelated “Harrison Fords” and “Jack Nicholsons” on the list. (I know they are not the “celebrity” Ford and Nicholson, because these Fords and Nicholsons live in Fresno, Bakersfield, and Saugus.) So, all of the celebrities I have listed herein are the correct people – they’re the real celebrities, and this is really the money that they are really due. I could have gone on making this list forever but, at a certain point, I just had to pull myself away – before they put me away! I sent this article to both The Los Angeles Times and Los Angeles Magazine, thinking that this content might be amusing for Hollywood readers, but since I never heard from either publication, I decided to post this myself, on my blog site.

Here you go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!





A:

-- Willie Aames, from great t.v. shows like “Eight is Enough” and formidable movies like Zapped, is owed $65.98 in royalties, from an unnamed company;

-- "American Idol’s" Paula Abdul is 'straight-up' entitled to receive $723.75 (listed as “group policy benefits”), $533.30 (Tiffany and Company.), $41.00 (unpaid salary), and $375.00 (unpaid salary);

-- The late, beloved Forrest J. Ackerman, who kept the spirit of sci-fi cinema alive for decades, is due $159.19 in salary from an unnamed company, $59.50 as a bank refund, $53.25 from AT&T. He and his also departed wife Louise are due $10.80 from Bank of America;

-- Amy Adams is owed $593.50 by the State of Minnesota, $404.74 by Studio Payroll Services, $76.00 and $51.46 by News Corp. (20th Century Fox), and $99.00 from Delta Dental Insurance;

-- “Sorry about that, chief:” Don Adams, the Late Maxwell Smart himself, is owed $302.01 by Disney;

-- Anybody who introduces the world to Cheech and Chong is okay in my book: Record impresario Lou Adler is owed $65.03 by Warner/Chappell Music;

-- Ben Affleck is due the princely sum of $2,154.84 from Paypal;

-- Christina Aguilera: Before she was famous, Christina attended an Oscar party at my sister’s apartment, on Hayworth Ave.; she thought she was going to one of the “real” Oscar parties, so she got dressed-up in a fancy ball gown, and it turned out to be a bunch of working stiffs in a small apartment, eating Cheetos from a bowl! Too make up for this, I now inform her that she is due $1,434.77, which is listed on the Unclaimed Assets website, as “insurance claim checks;”

-- The late Steve Allen (hi ho, Steverino!) is due $798.00 in wages, from an unnamed company;

-- Tim Allen is due $775.00 in salary from an unnamed production company, and he might even have more claims than that (there are a lot of “Tim Allens” listed on the California Unclaimed Assets website);

-- Herb Alpert, but not his Tijuana Brass, is owed $61.52 by Pacific Bell. Herb’s charity, The Herb Alpert Foundation, is owed $2,547.26;

-- The late Robert Altman and his company Lions Gate Entertainment (the original Lions Gate, not the current one) continue to be due $2,058.78 by the State of New York;

-- The late Don Ameche played Alexander Graham Bell in 1939, and he was ‘Mortimer Duke’ in 1983’s Trading Places when he was older, and while he is no longer with us, the $462.30 he is owed, from an unnamed production company, is;

-- Comedian Louie Anderson is due $122.14 from a court settlement;

-- Sony owes Pamela Anderson royalties of, $212.89, $42.56, $141.92, $32.08, $30.06, $32.22, $21.15, and $7.18. Studio Payroll Services owes her royalties of $12.77, $26.03, $21.06, and $12.75;

-- The late Dana Andrews, from 1946’s Best Picture winner The Best Year of Our Lives, is due $56.95 from Disney;

-- Adam Ant (Stuart Goddard) is due $58.43, $35.28, and $28.83 from court settlements. (My sister asked me to look him up.)

-- Gabrielle Anwar, the “sophisticated hottie” from Scent of a Woman (“hooh-ahh!”) is due $605.39 from NBC/Universal, $375.16 from Warner Bros., $312.58 from MGM, $263.31 in salary from an unnamed company, and a $263.31 refund from the Mercury Casualty Insurance Company;

-- When people think of director Alfonson Arau, they think of his movie Like Water for Chocolate, but I always think of another great movie he directed, Picking Up the Pieces (2000), and I also think about when he played the gangster, El Guapo, in Three Amigos! And I also tend to think about the twelve separate claims he has, on the Unclaimed Assets website;

-- "SNL's" Will Arnett (who’s listed as “William Arnett,” in his claims) is due both $375.95 and $363.95 from unnamed production companies;

-- Adam Arkin, son of Alan (who, himself, is not owed any money), is entitled to receive $58.00, $50.00, and $4.79, in unpaid salary;

-- “Saturday Night Live’s” Fred Armisen made me laugh so much when he played Lawrence Welk, I must return the favor by telling him he’s got three unpaid salaries to collect, in the amounts of $408.24, $401.24, and $419.78.

-- Ba-ba-loooo!!! The late Desi Arnaz, Sr. is due $969.36 and $91.09 from UMG Recordings, $318.69 and $40.26 from MCA Records, plus $48.58 from Sony. Lucy, I’m home! (PS, the Sony one for $48.58 could possibly be for Desi Arnaz, Jr. I’m not sure…)

-- Tom Arnold and his company Two Dog Productions are due $418.00, from unnamed production companies;

-- Desperately Seeking Susan’s scrumptious, but never bumptious, Rosanna Arquette should be Desperately Seeking the $50.48 which she’s due, listed as a “court settlement;”

-- The late Fred Astaire’s dependents are due $389.29, accumulated interest on his terminated life insurance policy;

-- One of my all-time-favorite t.v. personalities, John Astin (Gomez Adams from “The Addams Family”), he of the mischievous eyes and expression, has bukku claims: $61.38, $162.80, 61.50, and 50.00 (all from Disney), $17.50 from Sony, and $33.44 from NBC/Universal;

-- It’s time for Sean Astin to emerge from Middle Earth and collect the $189.19 which he is due, from a court settlement;

-- Grease is the word! Frankie Avalon is due three cents in residuals from BMI Music!

-- Dan Aykroyd: One of my all-time-favorite “Saturday Night Live” comedians and a true counter-culture hero, Aykroyd is owed $762.54 in royalties from Universal Music Corp; $456.55 from Disney; $153.41 from an unnamed production company, and $97.52 from Quest Diagnostics. (Quest Diagnostics is one of the companies which handles those insurance physicals for movie industry people.)

-- Hollywood Golden Age matinee idol Lew Ayres, the star of 1930’s Best Picture winner All Quiet on the Western Front, has been dead for over a decade, but the government is still holding onto the $47.50 that Republic Pictures has owed him, from many years ago!




B:

-- What the world needs now is Burt Bacharach receiving the $221.53 he’s owed from Disney, as well as the $1.36 and $1.30 due him for his stock in Nike. Additionally, Burt and his ex-wife Carole Bayer Sager are, together, eligible to receive $463.17 from an ancient court settlement which was decided in their favor;

-- Catherine Bach, the original 'Daisy Duke,' could use the $6.30 she’s owed by Disney to buy a new pair of little tiny bluejean shorts;

-- Max Baer, Jr. (aka, 'Jethro') is due $46.40 from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and $35.93 from ABC;

-- Joan Baez is owed $177.29, $143.25, $79.96, and $717.73 by Warner/Chappell Music, plus $290.27 from a court settlement, plus $4.00 from the State of Missouri;

-- Alec Baldwin, the leading man who’s aged into the finest comedic character actor, is due $974.41 from Time-Warner;

-- The headstrong Christian Bale might be a little nicer to cinematographers, when he finds out he’s owed $116.59 by Disney and $78.70 (a refund from State Farm, for auto insurance);

-- Fairuza Balk is owed $125.71 in unpaid salary from an unnamed company, $73.94 from Disney, and she’s also entitled to three separate residual payments, each in the amount of $59.20;

-- The late Lucille Ball is owed both $1,145.25 and $370.01, from insurance settlements;

-- The very good actress from the t.v. sensation “Mad Men,” Talia Balsam, daughter of Martin, is owed $146.57 from the bank that used to be known as Home Savings and Loan. She can pick up her check, from the guv’mint;

-- “Jaye P. Morgan, why did you do that:” “Gong Show” host and “Newlywed Game” creator Chuck Barris is entitled to $2,911.56 from First Interstate Bank;

-- He gave hope to small people everywhere. The late Billy Barty is owed $221.72, $103.58, $155.00, $129.52, and $101.19 by Disney, as well as $92.56 from Paramount and $62.49 from Universal;

-- The striking and intriguing Priscilla Barnes, one of the Suzanne Somers replacements on “Three’s Company” (she was ‘Terri’) has 18 separate claims to look into;

-- Mischa Barton might stay out of trouble, when she learns that Sony owes her $278.98;

-- Gene Barry is due $21.58 in residuals;

-- Drew Barrymore is owed $84.66, by MCA Records. (I remember the late ‘80s when Drew, in between E.T. and her adult comeback years, was working behind the counter at a record store in Studio City called Music Plus, and she actually sold me some MCA Records!) Anyway, Drew must have changed addresses, so MCA Records turned her earnings over to the government, and this is exactly where she can collect them from. MCA Records no longer exists, but her money does;

-- Kim Basinger is due $310.24 in a court settlement; the contents of a Safety Deposit Box; $504.00 from “Mighty Wind Productions” and $23.82, $7.03, and $2.38, all from Sony Pictures;

-- The late Alan Bates (try to see him in 1966’s King of Hearts if you get the chance) is due $2,047.33 and $184.24 in salary;

-- Michael Bay is owed $178.52 by Disney;

-- Orson Bean is due $6.23 from an unnamed production company;

-- Sean Bean is due the staggering (to me) figure of $21,622.55 and $1,054.31, both from Disney, as well as $4,144.49 from an unnamed production company;

-- Ned Beatty might even “squeal like a pig,” when he discovers that he’s due $258.29 and $148.35 in residuals from unnamed companies, $103.42 from Universal, $81.05 from Spelling Entertainment, and $56.04 from “News Publishing, Australia” (20th Century Fox);

-- William Beaudine, Jr., the masterful auteur who directed such seminal classics as Billy the Kid vs. Dracula and Jesse James vs. Frankestein’s Daughter is gone, but the $56.10 he’s owed is still here;

-- Beck (Beck Campbell), musician and hipster, is owed $1,874.77 by the State of New York, and $140.00 by UMG Recordings;

-- The late Noah Beery, Jr. is owed $6.06 by Sony and thirty-four cents from his mutual funds;

-- Kate Beckinsale is owed $803.34 by Disney, $194.37, $129.57, and $37.01 by NBC/Universal $37.01, and seventy-three cents by Warner Bros.;

-- Ed Begley, Jr. is entitled to $127.50 and $50.00 from unnamed production companies, as well as the undisclosed contents of a safety deposit box at a bank. I saw him in a little restaurant in the valley a few evenings ago, but I didn’t go up to him and mention it. He could probably use that much scratch to develop one of his energy-saving flying bicycles;

-- Producer/Screenwriter Jerry Belson is owed $291.70 from an insurance company and $166.65 from Smith-Barney;

-- The late Joan Bennett is due both $2,284.37 and $1,712.25 from the Spelling Entertainment Group;

-- The late Edgar Bergen, ventriloquist extraordinaire, is still entitled to receive $250.00 from the Texas Oil and Gas Company;

-- The late Ingrid Bergman is due $90.67 from Warner Bros. “Here’s looking at you, kid!”

-- The late Milton Berle (“Mr. Television”) and his living son ,William, are together owed both $279.00 and $187.21 in stocks from Hasbro Toys, plus Milton, on his own, is still owed $106.19 in unpaid wages, courtesy of Paramount Pictures;

-- Wouldn’t it be great if life were like that great sit-com, “Blossom?” (Wait! What am I talking about!) Mayim Bialik is owed residuals in the amounts of $9.81, $9.81, $6.03, $5.25, $5.25, and $5.25;

-- Barbara Billingsley (‘June Cleaver’) is owed $142.41 by Warner
Bros. and $112.23 by Disney;

-- Richard Blade, the seminal 1980s L.A. disc jockey (on KROQ), is due $650.00 in wages;

-- The late Betsy Blair (‘Jason Voorhees’s mother' in the original Friday the 13th movie) is owed $75.00 by Amtrak;

-- Classy Cate Blanchett has six big claims from Disney, in the amounts of $3,106.24, $3,049.79, $1,772.99, $1,698.47, $774.11, and $667.00;

-- Karate-choppin’ Billy Blanks, movie star and exercise studio honcho, is due $214.62 from Universal;

-- The late Ray Bolger ('the Cowardly Lion') is still due $234.48 from a court settlement and $228.85 in stock dividends. Ray and his wife Gwendolyn are also due both $201.50 and $87.50 in dividends;

-- Blue Cross owes Chastity Bono $269.54, $52.92, and $54.48;

-- The late Sonny Bono left behind $522.00 and $31.32 from stocks, and $53.20 in residuals;

-- The late Sorrell Booke ('Boss Hogg!') is due $666.88, $346.25, and $137.82 in residuals from unnamed companies, plus $73.14 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Tom Bosley, one of the world’s most beloved t.v. dads, is owed $88.55 from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center and $18.23 from Sony;

-- Every movie from the 1970s features a great performance by Joseph Bottoms, who is owed $80.00 from an insurance company, $39.75 and $29.81 from NBC/Universal, and $56.04, $7.36, and $7.35 from unnamed companies;

-- Lara Flynn Boyle is due $418.00 in unpaid wages;

-- The late Peter Boyle (no relation to Lara Flynn) is due $617.00 in unpaid wages;

-- When I was in third grade at Wonderland Avenue Elementary School in Laurel Canyon, in 1975, Ray Bradbury came and spoke to my class. (I have no idea how the school attained his services, but I remember being impressed with this, even when I was very young). Mr. Bradbury got me interested in writing that day, when he offered my class the following nugget: “Imagine there’s a trap door. What’s beneath it? That’s what’s up to you to discover – that is what a writer does.” His words have stayed with me for more than thirty years. Ray Bradbury is owed $193.56 and $76.61 by Universal Pictures, and $53.45 by Time Warner Cable;

-- Kenneth Branagh wrote his autobiography when he was in his twenties, but he didn’t include the part about he’s owed $569.00 in unpaid salary by ABC;

-- The late Marlon Brando is owed $1,845.00 by the “State of Oklahoma,” which his dependents are permitted to claim;

-- It’s the summer of 1984. I’m in high school, and I’m the doorman of the La Reina Theater in Sherman Oaks. The very good actress Eileen Brennan asks me to let her in to see the movie for free, citing a seemingly unassailable fact: “Don’t you know who I am?” But I’m torn, because the theater manager, Mr. Hamilton, has already told me that I can’t let celebrities in, free of charge. Upshot: I don’t let her in for free but, to make it up to her now, twenty-five years later, I would like her to know that there are two pages of claims to which she’s entitled – far too many to list here. Good for her – Brennan finally gets something for nothing;

-- Jordana Brewster, from The Fast and the Furious (and also from my dreams!), is due $500.00 in unpaid residuals;

-- Paget Brewster is due $62.31 in unpaid residuals;

-- Fanny Brice died in 1951, but the Unclaimed Assets website still lists her as having never collected $114.95 in residuals, from Capitol Records;

-- Jeff Bridges, 'Lebowski' himself, is owed $9,200.00 by the Bank of New York/Mellon Corporate Trust;

-- The late Lloyd Bridges’ family – Lloyd picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue!!! – is due $798.73, $250.62, $242.44, $553.33, and $259.58 in court settlements, plus $69.00 from the Transamerica Life Insurance Company (interest which has accrued on Lloyd’s terminated policy);

-- Danielle Brisebois, aka, ‘Little Stephy’ from “Archie Bunker’s Place,” is owed $461.65 by Disney, and $500.00 from a bank;

-- In 1986, I went to the movies with my two sisters. We saw a movie called Haunted Honeymoon with Gene Wilder and Gilda Radner. Gene and Gilda don’t have any unclaimed assets coming to them, but when my sisters and I saw the movie, Todd Bridges was sitting in the row behind us, with two dates. (I was impressed!) We couldn’t hear the movie because, for the entire ninety minutes of the film, Todd kept chanting “Who farted?” to make his dates laugh – and they did. Todd Bridges, even though I couldn’t hear the movie on account of your incessant talking, I am duty bound to inform you that you are owed $43.69 by Sony;

-- Amazing musician and film composer Jon Brion is due $1,625.28 from an escrow company;

-- The late, great Charles Bronson is owed $78.67 in “bond interest” from Cannon Films, and Bronson and his equally-late wife, Jill Ireland, are together owed $836.71, from American Modern Home Insurance;

-- Gone are the days when one could play a “funny drunk” – doing so is now considered quite impolitic – but the late Foster Brooks made a specialty of it, especially on those old Dean Martin Roasts. Foster’s family is entitled to receive the $640.69, $603.14, and $68.89 which UMG Music owes him;

-- Blair Brown, great as William Hurt’s long-suffering wife in the 1980 movie Altered States, is due $18.60 from MGM;

-- Legendary movie comedian Joe E. Brown (at the end of Some Like It Hot, Jack Lemmon exclaims, “I’m a man!” and Brown goofily replies, “Nobody’s perfect!”) passed away in 1973, but he’s still due $45.10 in stock dividends from AT&T. Also, Joe and his beloved wife Kathryn left $60.51 behind, in an old bank account;

-- Dave Brubeck is owed $203.65 by Broadcast Music Inc.;

-- The late Yul Brynner still has a bank account with $133.23 in it;

-- “Designing Woman” Delta Burke is owed $648.00 by Disney, $77.50 by Paypal, and $58.37 from Time Warner Cable;

-- Carol Burnett has $1,239.95 coming to her from The State of Delaware. (Maybe she started a company there, or something?)

-- The late Raymond Burr (“Perry Mason,” “Ironside”) is due $184.55 from a court settlement;

-- The late George Burns, who is listed on the State Controller’s Office website as “George N. Burns,” has $107.65, $101.56, $100.05, $111.03, $88.68, and $51.48 from the Hillcrest Beverly Oil Company, plus $79.34 from Time-Warner Cable. I know that Burns used to be a member of the Hillcrest Country Club, so I’m guessing that oil was discovered underneath it, and that Burns invested;

-- Ruth Buzzi, from “Laugh-In,” will not hit me with her purse, when I tell her that she’s owed $149.52 by the Monsanto Corporation. (Monsanto used to run that little “voyage through a microscope” ride at Disney’s Tomorrowland.)




C:

-- Michael Caine is owed $655.00 and $354.19 from unnamed production companies;

-- When I was in high school in the early ‘80s, and working at the La Reina Theater in Sherman Oaks – the movies we showed that summer were Sheena Queen of the Jungle, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and Greystoke: The Legend of TarzanDyan Cannon came in, not to see the movie, but just to buy popcorn from me and chat. The next night she was on “The Tonight Show,” telling Johnny Carson how much she liked popcorn! Dyan was so gracious and nice, it’s my honor to tell her that she’s owed $412.38 and $324.00 from unnamed production companies, plus she’s got $31.60 sitting in a forgotten savings account, somewhere;

-- Kirk Cameron can raise money so he can hand out some of his annotated Darwin books, with the $192.00 he’s due from a court settlement and the $27.80 he’s due from Disney;

-- Neve Campbell is entitled to both $610.00 and $250.66, from unnamed companies;

-- Director Jane Campion (The Piano) is due both $79.11 and $67.27 from Disney;

-- The late Judy Canova is due $780.23 from MCA Records, $377.93 from the Occidental Oil and Gas Company, and $12.11 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- The late Eddie Cantor is owed $129.71 and $52.10, both from MCA Records;

-- “Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, skating rink! Merry Christmas, Unclaimed Assets:” The late Frank Capra has one who page of claimed on the California Unclaimed Assets website. Additionally, his producer-grandson Frank Capra, III has his own page of claims;

-- The omnipresent Steve Carell is owed unpaid residuals in the amounts of $756.00, $379.19, $313.50, $241.95, and $233.79;

-- “Like sands through the hourglass, these are ‘The Days of Our Lives.’” The late MacDonald Carey is owed $64.12 by Warner Bros.;

-- The late George Carlin is entitled to $5,000.00, $667.00, and $336.91 from Disney, plus $775.00 from an unnamed company;

-- Belinda Carlisle, should ‘Go-Go’ to pick up the three bucks which she is due;

-- Leslie Caron is owed $172.56 by Tiffany and Company;

-- Barbara Carrera is owed $165.00 and $58.00 from an insurance company, plus $15.97 in unpaid salary. Plus, she’s got some stuff in a safety deposit box;

-- Tia Carrere is owed $1,317.44 in mutual funds, $648.00 and $332.80 in residuals from unnamed companies, $162.12 from Paramount Pictures, $143.41 from ABC, and $58.50from a a bank;

-- The family of the late Johnny Carson is owed $206.17 from Southern California Edison, and $88.20 in interest on his terminated life insurance policy, from Pacific Life Insurance;

-- Aaron Carter is due $120.05 in residuals from an unnamed company;

-- Dixie Carter, from “Designing Women,” is due $126.20 from Paid Prescriptions, Inc., and $1.38 from Disney;

-- The late Nell Carter would never say “Give Me a Break” to the $76.40 she’s owed from a court settlement, the $50.01 she’s due from Nestle Waters, the $30.61 she’s owed by Sprint, and the $26.94 that she left in a bank;

-- T.K. Carter, the always likeable character actor, is owed $3.95 by Studio Payroll Services;

-- Nancy Cartwright, the voice of Bart Simpson, is owed $25.00 by the Allstate Insurance Company;

-- David Caruso is owed $1,491.26 from NBC/Universal and $381.13 from an unnamed company;

-- Dana Carvey is due $1,557.00, $324.00, $519.00, $250.19, and $222.00 in unpaid salary and/or residuals from unnamed companies, plus $811.11 from Universal Pictures. (“Well, isn’t that special!”)

-- “Groovy” David Cassidy is owed $20.02 by NBC/Universal;

-- “Groovy” Shaun Cassidy is owed $25.38, $12.69, and another $12.69 by Lucent Technologies;

-- The late showman movie producer William Castle is due from $128.37 from his Coca-Cola stocks;

-- Dick Cavett is owed $278.44 by Time Warner Cable;

-- Cedric the Entertainer (aka, Cedric Kyles) is owed $1,719.00 in unpaid salary from an unnamed company, $271.48 from Disney, and $100.00 from T-Mobile;

-- The late great Marilyn Chambers, and her estranged husband Chuck Traynor, are together owed $52.39, by Pacific Bell;

-- Geraldine Chaplin, daughter of Charlie (she’ll be on view next year, as Maleva, the gypsy woman, in Universal’s new Wolfman remake) is due $707.98 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- John Cho, from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle While They Escape from Guantanamo Bay, is owed $451.32 in unpaid salary;

-- The eminent Tommy Chong, of Cheech and Chong, is due $1,290.00 and $335.50, in unpaid wages from an unnamed company, plus $252.40 and $34.65 from Sony;

-- Shelby Fiddis-Chong, Tommy Chong’s wife, who happens to be a great comedian in her own right, is owed both $479.67 and $142.00 in uncollected royalty payments;

-- She’s a perennial: Julie Christie is owed $1,089.42 by Paramount Pictures and $788.08 from a bank;

-- Chuck D. from Public Enemy (aka, Carlton Ridenhour) is due $13.88 from an unnamed source, and he’s also due $7.65 by NBC/Universal;

-- "Saturday Night Live's" hilarious Ellen Cleghorne is due $1,403.43 from an escrow company;

-- George Clooney, a man who stares at goats, is unaware that he has $648.00 coming to him, via royalty payments;

-- George Clooney’s aunt, the late Rosemary Clooney, is due $1,285.06, $614.24, and $425.69 from MCA Records, $369.03 from Talent Partners, $298.86 from UMG Recordings, Inc., $120.49 from Warner Bros., and $107.00 Paramount Pictures. Thanks to the movie industry’s incredible propensity for putting either “Mambo Italiano” or “Come on to My House” in every movie ever made, there will never be a hungry Clooney;

-- Emmy-winner Glenn Close has $1,402.00, $1,049.46, and $402.75 coming to her, all courtesy of Time-Warner Cable;

-- The late James Coburn’s heirs have $554.00 coming to them, courtesy of some unpaid residuals from Disney;

-- “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit!” The late Johnnie L. Cochran is entitled to $2,600.00 from a “matured CD,” a bank account with $1,058.57 in it, plus $200.48 and $53.23 from the Plains Exploration and Production Company;

-- Susie Coelho is entitled to receive $7.76 from Sony and $16.35 from an unnamed company;

-- Mindy Cohn, who played 'Natalie' on the ‘80s sit-com “The Facts of Life,” is due both $852.00 and $568.00 from unnamed production companies. I sat next to her once on a flight from L.A. to NYC;

-- Even though the late Nat King Cole is “unforgettable,” he “forgot” to collect the $289.10, $126.00, and $66.40 which he is still owed by insurance companies;

-- Natalie Cole, daughter of Nat, who has done duets with everybody in the world but me, is owed $441.17 from an escrow company, plus she’s got two safety deposit boxes to look into;

-- Dabney Coleman is due $305.95 and $73.16 from News Publishing, Australia (20th Century Fox), $191.47 from the Navajo Refining Company, $116.40 from MGM, $59.17 from NBC/Universal, and thirty-six cents from Charles Schwab. I wish this guy would make more movies again;

-- Fritz Coleman, erstwhile L.A. t.v. weatherman, is owed $168.13 in unpaid wages (unnamed source) and $60.78 in dividends. I thought about him because I sat behind him at the Ahmanson a few weeks ago, when I saw “August: Osage County;”

-- Gary Coleman: “What you talkin’ about Willis?” I’m talking about the $46.94 you’re owed from an unnamed source, and the $9.78 you’re owed by NBC/Universal;

-- Gary Collins is owed $319.07 by an insurance company, $65.00 by Universal Pictures, and $34.76 listed as “mutual funds or money market;”

-- Jackie Collins is due $667.00 from Disney;

-- Joan Collins is owed $629.00 by Disney, $162.00 in salary from an unnamed company, and $80.70 by Tiffany and Company;

-- Jeff Conaway (‘Bobby Wheeler’ from t.v.’s “Taxi,” ‘Kenickie’ from the big-screen’s Grease) is due $239.19 from MTV, $60.75 and $60.29 from Disney, $131.25 from Paramount, plus $288.25 and $80.00 from the Chubb Group;

-- Writer/director Bill Condon is due $67.19 from Universal and $67.11 from MGM;

-- Sean Connery will be shaken, and not stirred, when he discovers that he is owed $49.45 by Universal, $28.35 by Sony, and $58.96 by the Chubb Group;

-- Brit funnyman Steve Coogan is owed $75.78 by Paramount;

-- Producer Cis Corman, legendary Hollywood casting director and producer, is owed $462.99, as reported by the Screen Actors Guild;

-- Legendary low-budget movie producer Roger Corman is on the books for three refunds from Pacific Bell, in the amounts of $160.50, $160.50, and $150.00, plus he needs to apply for the $197.31 which will come to him from Radio Shack. (I knew his movies don’t cost much, but I didn’t know he gets the equipment from Radio Shack!) His wife Julie is due nineteen cents from the Anadarko Petroleum Corporation;

-- Francis Ford Coppola, who seems to be eternally in bankruptcy, might brighten when he learns that he is owed $96.80 by McDonald’s (stock dividends);

-- The legendary comedian Tim Conway is owed $50.00 in unpaid royalties;

-- Bud Cort, star of the 1971 cult-comedy Harold and Maude, is entitled to $81.56 from California Federal Savings and $26.00 from Allstate Insurance. (There are two pages of claims for various “Ruth Gordons” – Ruth played ‘Maude’ in Harold and Maude – but I’m not sure any of these is the right one.)

-- The late Joseph Cotten, ‘Jedediah Leland’ from Citizen Kane, is owed $774.20 in stocks and $49.68 in dividends. Plus he’s owed money from court settlements, in the amounts of $261.73, $115.02, and $69.42;

-- Simon Cowell might be a little nicer if he learns that he has two separate claims to which he’s entitled, in the amounts of $486.00 and $485.10 (unpaid salary from unnamed companies), plus $199.02 from NBC/Universal;

-- Hey, hey, hey! Bill “Jell-O Pudding” Cosby is due $383.00 in securities from Hilton Hotels, plus $260.45 from the State of Massachusetts. Plus, Bill and his wife Camille are, together, due $711.00, from the State of North Carolina;

-- The late Broderick Crawford, who had more testosterone in one his fingertips than all of North America has in its entire population, is still due $211.40, $55.20, and $42.19 from Universal Pictures, $106.91 from an insurance company, and $39.51 from the Gas Company;

The very missed Jim Croce is owed $63.13 by the Screen Actors Guild;

-- The Late Bing Crosby is owed $592.89 in court settlements. (I dig both his singing and his “not-too-tart, not-too-sweet” Minute Maid Orange Juice.)

-- Cathy Lee Crosby is owed $84.19 from a court settlement;

-- David Crosby is owed $279.87 by the State of Colorado;

-- Everything’s ‘Ducky’ for Jon Cryer, because he’s owed $54.31 by Universal, and $410.00 in salary from an unnamed company. Additionally, Jon and his writer/actress mom, Gretchen Cryer, are together owed $2,268.20 by a bank;

-- Alfonso Cuaron didn’t just direct Y Tu Mama Tambien! He’s also the guy who’s owed $54.50 by the New York Telephone Company;

-- The late great bandleader and restaurateur (La Cienega Blvd.’s erstwhile Casa Cugat) Xavier Cugat has six separate claims, in the amounts of $4,322.43, $1,911.92, $699.44, $644.54, $131.97, and $74.19, all from MCA Records;

-- Macaulay Culkin will slap himself in the face with both hands and exclaim, "Ahhhhh," when he discovers that he is owed $1,080.00 by Delta Dental;

-- Whitney Cummings, one of our funniest new comedians, is due $2.11, $1.99, $1.25, $1.39, $1,38, ten cents, seven cents, seven more cents, six cents, and six more cents, in unpaid wages;

-- Former scream-queen, now America’s greatest fiber yogurt-eater, Jamie-Lee Curtis is owed $822.00 in salary from Disney and, separately, she’s owed $662.00 in royalty payments, from an unnamed company.




D:

-- Beverly D’Angelo is owed both $63.99 and $58.32 in royalties, from UMG Recordings;

-- The Late Rodney Dangerfield’s descendants should look into this: He will finally get some respect, posthumously, when they find that he is owed $489.75 from Delta Dental, $143.62, $11.79, and $76.39 from MGM, and $50.00 from Readers Digest Magazine;

-- Ted Danson is owed $38.54, from Paid Prescriptions, Inc.;

-- The late director Delmer Daves (he made Dark Passage with Humphrey Bogart) is due thirty-five cents from the State of Kansas;

-- The “estranged” Larry and Laurie David are, together, owed $7,940.00 by the State Farm Insurance Company;

-- Lolita Davidovich, who actually appeared with Larry David on a recent episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” is due both $1,337.13 and $3.63 from Studio Payroll Services, and $120.09 from an unnamed company;

-- Billy Davis, Jr., of the Fifth Dimension, is entitled to $174.54, as reported by the Musicians Credit Union;

-- One of our finest actors, Judy Davis, is due $1,259.80, $1,201.82, and $620.54 from Disney, $545.17 from Time Warner Cable, and $229.58, $141.45, and $307.27 in unpaid wages from unnamed companies;

-- You always get a smile on your face when you watch the fantastic performances of the late Ossie Davis. Disney owes Ossie $616.00, which his family is free to collect;

-- Viola Davis, a regular on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” this season, is owed $147.47 by an unnamed company;

-- Pam Dawber (aka, 'Mindy' from “Mork and Mindy”) is owed $618.45 in salary, plus $729.78 from a court settlement;

-- I remember when the movie Purple Rain came out in 1984. Morris Day, Prince’s rival in the film, was on the Letterman show and, without a trace of irony, he uttered the line which has remained with me to this very day: “Dave, I’m a very sexual person.” For this gutsy admission alone, it is my honor to let Morris know that he is due $522.00 in residuals from an unnamed company, $99.13 from the Household Finance Corporation, $117.16 and $90.73 from Time-Warner Cable, $201.80 and $76.75 from court settlements, $58.13 from “Paid Prescriptions, Inc.,” and $14.30 from Charles Schwab;

-- El De Barge is due $1.34, $1.35, $6.06, and $7.32 from NBC/Universal, plus $8.14 from Sony, and $2.75 from Studio Payroll Services. (Not to be confused with El Brendel, the Swedish movie comedian from the early ‘30s, who popularized the phrase, “Yumpin’ Yimminy!”)

-- The late Yvonne de Carlo is due $29.94 from Bank of America;

-- Ellen Degeneres will dance, when she discovers that she is due $590.00 from Disney;

-- French superstar Alain Delon, who briefly lived in Los Angeles in the ‘60s, when he was making movies for American studios, had a joint bank account in the amount of $327.99, at Bank of America. He and his ex-wife, the actress Nathalie Delon, are still entitled to receive this money;

-- “Wolfman” Benicio del Toro will howl with delight when he finds that he’s due $1,075.00, in unpaid wages;

-- Johnny Depp has $2,159.06 coming to him from Beverly Hills Porsche;

-- Dino De Laurentiis’ production and music companies have 12 separate claims;

-- The Late Bob Denver, everybody’s favorite 'little buddy,' is due $25.83 in royalties from Disney;

-- Brian De Palma is owed a refund of $110.00 from “Rollins, Inc. and Subsidiaries;”

-- Bruce Dern, the actor who, for me, has always “out-Nicholsoned Nicholson,” is owed $115.70 by Time-Warner Cable, $96.98 from Paramount Pictures, and $58.24 from Chase Manhattan Bank;

-- Portia De Rossi is owed $616.50 by Disney;

-- Donna D’Errico from “Baywatch” is due $27.82 in unpaid wages;

-- Cute-as-a-button indie princess Zooey Deschanel is owed $50.00 by Motorola;

-- The unqualified winners in the Unclaimed Assets Sweepstakes are Danny De Vito and wife Rhea Perlman: For some reason, they forgot that they have a joint checking account with (get this!), $71,451.99 in it. Holy cow! Hey, guys, if you don’t want it, send it over to me!

-- The late Frank De Vol who composed every ‘60s t.v. show theme ever, is owed $3,250.00 by Capitol Records, $543.75 in bond interest, $355.00 from an insurance company, and $71.38 from Universal;

-- Neil Diamond will say “Hello, my friend, hello” to $248.04 he’s owed from a court settlement, $277.14 to which he’s eligible from National Benefit Life Insurance Company, and $100.00 which he forgot about, from a bank;

-- Andy Dick is owed $563.00, $196.99, and $184.46 by Disney; $414.64 by Warner Bros.;

-- Disney: The Disney Family, Disneyland Resorts, and Disney Pictures have lots and lots of claims listed on the website;

-- The late Ivan Dixon, the great t.v. director who played Sgt. James 'Kinch' Kinchloe on “Hogan’s Heroes,” is owed $5.61, $5.75, and $5.73 by Sony, plus he’s owed $34.62 by Warner Bros., and he’s got a $15.00 checking account he never closed at the Bank of the West;

-- Rapper DMX (Earl Simmons) is owed $382.96 by Warner Bros.;

-- Placido Domingo needs to drink a lot of water, and that’s why Nestle Waters, makers of Arrowhead Water, owes him $50.05;

-- The late Brian Donlevy is still due $335.40 from MCA Records;

-- Donovan (Donovan Leitch, Sr.), “The Hurdy-Gurdy Man” himself, is due $257.68 and $454.00 from insurance companies;

-- The late William Dozier, one of the producers of t.v.’s “Batman,” who was also the show’s uncredited narrator (“Same Bat-time! Same Bat-channel!”) is owed $171.48 in residuals and $92.99 from the “General Credit Corp.;”

-- Dr. Phil (Phil McGraw) will “keep it real” with the $648.00 he’s due from Disney;

-- Robert Downey, Jr., “the man with the mannerisms,” is due $208.00 from an insurance company, $166.35 from NBC/Universal, $79.00 from Studio Payroll Services, $18.68 from Disney, and $128.11 from BMI Music. (Note: One or more of these claims might actually be for his dad, the legendary underground filmmaker, Robert Downey, Sr.)

-- Fran Drescher is owed $640.79, $592.72, $94.08, and 67.32 from Disney. Sounds like somebody didn’t get her royalty checks for those “ancillary” screenings of Beautician and the Beast?

-- I was at a movie theater in Beverly Hills once, and I saw Julia Louis Dreyfus using a tissue to open the ladies room door. I guess she doesn’t like to touch doorknobs, but she is eligible to touch $7.41 from Disney and $5.87 in dividends from General Electric, if she wants it;

-- Michael Dudikoff, who starred in those American Ninja movies in the ‘80s, has twenty-three separate claims;

-- Charles Durning is due $1,295.57 from Disney;

-- An insurance company owes Fred Durst $818.00;

-- The late film noir stalwart Dan Duryea left $44.24 behind in a bank;

-- Nancy Dussault, who played the mom on the ‘80s sitcom “Too Close for Comfort,” is owed $129.40 and $61.40 from the Chubb Group. The reason I remember her name, is because once, during a run of her sit-com, she appeared as “herself” on a t.v. variety show, and she had to gleefully sing her own name, like this: “I’m Nan-see Doo-salt!”

-- The great Charles S. Dutton is lucky today: He’s due the sums of $15,602.09 and $12,559.42 in unpaid wages (separate claims, from unnamed companies), plus $571.00, $538.00, and $616.00 from Disney, $576.00 from an unnamed company, and $28.45 from ABC. Also, he’s owed 82 cents, 37 cents, and 83 cents in residuals, from other unnamed companies;

-- Movie history’s most famous consigliore Robert Duvall can take an extra salsa-dancing lesson with the $73.08 which he is due from AT &T;

-- Does anybody else beside me ever mix up those two fine character actors Richard Dysart and Richard Basehart? It’s an easy mistake to make, because both of these two fine character actors with similar names appear in major roles, in Hal Ashby’s seminal 1979 film, Being There. But the late Richard Dysart is the only one with a claim – he’s due both $322.56 and $12.84, from Warner Bros.




E:

-- Clint Eastwood’s day will be made, when he discovers that he’s due $300 from MGM (royalties; four claims which together total $300), plus an additional $50.00, from MCA Universal;

-- Nicole Eggert is due a $25.00 refund on an escrow check;

-- The never-to-be-forgotten Anita Ekberg is owed $100.92 and $96.94, both by the Marbella Club Hotel;

-- One of the great character actors, the late Dana Elcar, continues to be owed $628.22, $70.07, and $26.22 by Universal, plus $27.86 by Sony;

-- She kissed Henry Thomas in E.T. and, many years later, when she grew up and posed for "Playboy," I kissed her layout pages: Erika Eleniak is owed $116.85 by the Gas Company and $26.50 by Sony;

-- The amazing movie composer and Oingo-Boingo frontman Danny Elfman is owed $2,455.17 by News Corp. (Fox) and he’s also entitled to $201.15 from a court settlement;

-- Omar Epps is due a $50.00 refund from Sears Roebuck;

-- R. Lee Ermey, the greatest movie drill instructor of all time (Full Metal Jacket), is due $174.91 from Paramount Pictures;

-- The soulful/great Melissa Etheridge has $26.97 coming to her from NBC/Universal and $58.85 from Disney;

-- Bob Eubanks, host of t.v.’s original “Newlywed Game,” will be making whoopee with the $598.00 and $257.85 he’s owed, in unpaid salary;

-- Supermodel Angie Everhart is due $50.00 from the Cellco Partnership.



F:

-- The late Percy Faith is owed $611.02 by UMG Records;

-- Jane’s Addiction/Porno for Pyros ethereal front man Perry Farrell is owed $7.42 in unpaid wages;

-- Corey Feldman can moonwalk his way right into the $402.00 court settlement he’s due, plus the $50.00 which he’s owed by Sears Roebuck;

-- The Late Great funnyman Marty Feldman is owed $637.39 by Universal, most likely royalties for the one film which he made for the studio, In God We Trust (All Others Pay Cash);

-- Sally Field will say “You like me! You really like me!” to the $250.00 she’s owed by Universal;

-- Eternal sexpot Barbara Feldon has a safety deposit box to look at;

-- William Fichtner is due $998.00 from Disney;

-- Kim Fields, ‘Tootie’ from “The Facts of Life,” is due $89.70 and $52.87 from Disney, and $14.89 and $7.89 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Mike Figgis, the very talented director of Leaving Las Vegas, is due $190.75 from a court settlement;

-- Hollywood whistleblower Nikki Finke is owed $6.95 from stocks;

-- The memorably-bespectacled Joe Flynn, who used to irascibly yell, “McHale!” on “McHale’s Navy,” and who starred in all of those great Disney movies in the ‘70s (The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, The Strongest Man in the World, Superdad, etc.) passed away many years ago, but he is still owed $354.10, $100.00, $50.00, and $40.00 by Disney;

-- John Fogerty keeps on chooglin’ with the $142.24 he’s owed by Paid Prescriptions, Inc. and the $67.00 he’s owed by the Auto Club;

-- Bridget Fonda is entitled to $41.86 from Union Bank;

-- Milos Forman is due $94.00 from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center;

-- Frederic Forrest is owed $28.63 by MGM, $50.34 from the Gas Company, $77.61 from a court settlement, $28.00 from the Auto Club, and $358.41 from the State of New Hampshire;

-- Jodie Foster is due $603.67 from a court settlement, $142.69 from Bank of the West, as well as a $61.37 refund from Tiffany and Company;

-- Vivica A. Fox is due $101.51 and $73.76 in residuals, plus $53.66 from General Mills;

-- The actor Robert Foxworth is entitled to $5,000.00 from “International Game Technology,” plus $134.46 and $629.41 in dividends, and $74.28 from Sears Roebuck;

-- The cinematographer William A. Fraker is owed $126.99 in a court settlement;

-- The late James Franciscus is due $50.00 from Time Warner Cable;

-- Senator Al Franken -- $11.00!

-- The late director John Frankenheimer is due $224.34 from an escrow company, $76.69 from First L.A. Bank, and $56.00 is interest that accrued on his “terminated life insurance policy;”

-- The late William Frawley (‘Fred Mertz’ from “I Love Lucy”) is due $52.00 from an insurance company;

-- Comedy album genius Stan Freberg is owed $459.79 by Universal… plus, he’s also owed one penny, by BMI Music!

-- What would the ‘80s have been without “Max Headroom?” Max’s alter-ego, Matt Frewer, is entitled to $1,031.75 from Disney;

-- Daisy Fuentes is owed $667.00 in unpaid wages from an unnamed company, plus $6.57 from Sony.




G:

-- Once upon a (Hungarian) time, Eva and Zsa-Zsa Gabor, and their older sister Magda, pooled in some money and jointly invested together. Together, they are owed $147.20 and $141.19 in stock shares;

-- The late Eva Gabor, on her own, is due $1,696.00 from “Interinsurance Exchange of the Automobile,” $832.13 from Disney, $382.15 from a court settlement, $88.13 from
some mutual funds, $244.52 from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, and $9.12 and $6.15 in dividends from McFarland Energy;

-- Zsa Zsa Gabor is due $129.35 from Time Warner Cable, $141.19 from stock dividends, and an additional $147.20 Dividends. (I hope that German “prince” character doesn’t get his mitts on it!) I remember when David Letterman once said that the worst ice cream flavor in the world might be “Zsa Zsa Gab-oreo,” and that is probably true;

-- Charlotte Gainsbourg is due $515.66 from Bank of America;

-- The late, never-to-be-forgotten Marvin Gaye wouldn’t have needed any “sexual healing,” if he knew that he was, and that his heirs still are, entitled to $6,004.46, $2,952.62, and $41.87 from Security Pacific Bank, $4,093.93, $360.71, and $338.72 from Pharmacia, Inc., $3,400.00 from First Interstate Bank, $1,441.17 from Transworld Bank, $172.68 from General Electric Stocks, $24.00, and $31.68 from his stocks in the Upjohn Company. Marvin’s heirs are also eligible to receive the $402.50 in interest which has accumulated on his terminated life insurance policy;

-- Mitzi Gaynor, the 1950s sexpot whom “this author” recently enjoyed in a great classic comedy from 1956, The Birds and The Bees (her legs go all the way up), has five separate claims from MCA Records, in the amounts of $104.81, $60.85, $128.71, $57.04, and $41.94;

-- Ben Gazzara (“Jackie Treehorn” from The Big Lebowski), who’s been cool for decades, is owed $762.30 by Universal;

-- David Geffen is due $3,006.61 from a bank, $100.67 from a court settlement, $72.65 from Verizon, and $66.00 from Universal Pictures;

-- Lynda Day George is due $489.09 and $66.58 in dividends, plus $78.29 from Paramount Pictures;

-- The now-deceased UHF crackpot Wally George is owed $127.64 in salary;

-- Kick-ass Gina Gershon is owed $104.35 by Spelling Entertainment;

-- The ‘80s would not be complete without the song-stylings of Debbie Gibson, who is owed $138.88 by Time Warner Cable;

-- The late Henry Gibson, from t.v.’s “Laugh-In” and Altman’s Nashville, will never get to see the $4.04 he’s owed from Warner Bros. “Oh, Mergatroyd!”

-- Cornelia Guest is due $599.35 in salary from an unnamed company, plus $57.87 and $38.00 from Warner Bros.;

-- Vince Gill is due $121.35 in “vendor payments,” plus $98.58 from Broadcast Music, Inc.;

-- The late Robert Ginty (Exterminator and Exterminator II) is due a $75.35 refund from The New York Times;

-- Remember those great Golan-Globus productions from the ‘80s – those supercharged B-movies that breathed new life into the careers of Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson? Israeli super-producer Yoram Globus, one of the two men who made these movies happen, is entitled to receive $1,863.89 from Countrywide Home Loans. He is also owed $110.79, which a now-defunct savings bank has turned over to the government;

-- The truly inimitable Crispin Glover is owed a $100.00 refund from the Auto Club, plus $588.13 from a court settlement;

-- I was a contestant on Bobcat Goldthwait’s short-lived USA network game show “Bobcat’s Big Ass Show” about ten years ago, and I had to dress up as a fireman and save a “lady” from a fire in order to win a watch – and the lady was actually a man, dressed as a lady. (And incidentally, the watch I won never worked.) Bobcat has $629.00 that he’s due in unpaid salary from an unlisted company;

-- John Goodman has so many claims (at least 35 claims, by my own count) that it would take me a long time to itemize them. John, go to the Unclaimed Assets website and check them out!

-- Leo Gorcey, “boss” of the “Dead End Kids” (who were subsequently resurrected as both “The Bowery Boys” and “The East Side Kids”) died forty years ago, but there’s still $120.00 waiting for him from an old bank account that he never closed down, as well as $2.30 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- The late Frank Gorshin (he was the original 'Riddler' on t.v., not to mention the best Kirk Douglas-impressionist, ever) cashed out of life, before he cashed in on the $100.00 which he is owed;

-- Actor/evangelist Marjoe Gortner is owed $132.64 and $73.14 by MGM, plus $140.00 and $119.00 from Allstate Insurance;

-- Heather Graham ('Rollergirl') is due $160.64, which the Unclaimed Assets website lists as being a “vendor payment;”

-- “Judy, Judy, Judy, you owe me $258.91:” That’s the amount of the refund which the late, dapper Cary Grant is owed by an unspecified vendor;

-- Hugh Grant is owed $441.00 by Disney and $330.75 by NBC/Universal;

-- Linda Gray from “Dallas” is due $598.00 from ABC and $142.04 from Universal Music, Inc.;

-- Funnyman Tom Green (where’d that guy go?!) is owed $78.40 by MTV, plus he’s got two residual checks, each in the amount of $734.25 (from unnamed companies), to pick up;

-- The late Lorne Greene’s family has a bonanza coming to them: He’s owed $553.50, $170.15, $123.00, and $50.17 in wages, plus $1,908.62 from the “Woodmen of the World Life Insurance Company;”

-- “Oooh!” The late Merv Griffin owned the Beverly Hills Hotel, so he probably didn’t need the paltry $21.51 which he’s still due, from NBC/Universal;

-- Don’t have a cow, Matt Groening: Pacific Bell owes you eighty bucks!

-- Producer Peter Guber is owed $365.61 by ADT Security Services. Peter’s co-producer Jon Peters might have some claims of his own, as well: The Unclaimed Assets website shows claims for various people named Jon Peters, but I wasn’t sure which one was the “producer” one, so I haven’t listed any;

-- The company “Guber-Peters Songs” has six different claims listed, in the amounts of $1,375.94, $1,039.66, $901.81, $691.94, $195.09, and $166.15;

-- Global warming is probably fiction, but here's some truth: Davis Guggenheim, who directed the 2006 documentary An Inconvenient Truth, is owed $8.91 by Sony;

-- Spinal Tap’s own Christopher Guest (aka, 'Nigel Tufnel') has $254.34 in unpaid royalties/residuals coming to him.




H:

-- Shelly Hack, one of t.v.’s original "Charlie’s Angels," is due $11.25 in unpaid royalties;

-- Gene Hackman’s crustiness would fall away if he received the $243.14 and $130.91 he’s due from Time-Warner Cable;

-- Larry Hagman is eligible to receive $14.24 from NBC/Universal, $94.70 from the Chubb Corporation, and $218.92 from Citibank;

-- Cult favorite Sid Haig is owed $253.85 by Disney, $34.77, $29.63, and $6.07 by NBC/Universal, and $8.59 by an unnamed company;

-- Corey Haim is due $96.15 from Sony;

-- The late Jack Haley, Sr. (the “Tin Man”) and his wife Florence are owed $283.50 in dividends. Jack, on his own, is owed $91.02 from Disney and $50.48 in interest which has accrued on his terminated life insurance policy;

-- The equally-late producer Jack Haley, Jr., is due $349.22 from Warner Bros. and $288.71 from an insurance company;

-- Woop! Woop! Woop! Arsenio Hall is due both $37.00 and $102.00 in refunds from Allstate Insurance. Hmm, “Makes you think.” (Or whatever his catch-phrase was. I forgot!)

-- He fought scorpions in the original Clash of the Titans, and for that, Harry Hamlin definitely deserves the $106.74 which is coming to him from Verizon!

-- Marvin Hamlisch is owed $155.00 by ABC. I love his score for the new movie, The Informant!

-- Sam Hamm, who wrote the first Batman movie, has 23 separate claims, mostly from Universal with a sprinkling of Disney. There are too many for me to list;

-- Earl Hamner, Jr. created “The Waltons,” and when I was a little boy, my dad, a contractor, was remodeling Hamner’s house. My dad told Hamner that I liked writing, so Earl showed me the little shed and portable typewriter where he wrote each episode of the show, and then he gave me a glass of apple juice. This is one of my fondest boyhood memories. Earl is owed $244.70 from a court settlement;

-- The luminescent Darryl Hannah is owed $2,801.71 by Warner Bros.;

-- Alyson Hannigan, from the American Pie movies, is due $1,040.82 from an escrow check, $41.00 in salary, and $3.04 from Tiffany and Company;

-- The understated and underrated Tess Harper played Robert Duvall’s long-suffering wife in the great 1983 film Tender Mercies, and this year, she’s featured on the Showtime series “Crash.” She is due $582.00 in salary, from an unnamed company;

-- Valerie Harper (“Rhoda”): $925.00 in stocks from Tiffany and Company;

-- Woody Harrelson is owed $1,364.57 by Disney, $614.90 by Disney, and $157.50 by MGM – that would buy a lot of hemp!

-- Melissa Joan Hart is owed $1,669.00, $648.00, $629.00, and $736.00 in residuals;

-- Jackée Harry (whatever happened to her?) is owed $36.79 and $2.63 by Studio Payroll and $149.73 from an insurance company;

-- The underrated performer Dennis Haysbert is owed $382.85 in royalties from an unnamed company, plus $29.26 from NBC/Universal;

-- Nina Hartley, the pre-eminent female-empowering porn star and activist, is very deservedly due $291.98 in royalties;

-- The late, mega-great Phil Hartman’s dependents will be happy to learn that he is due $2,325.00 in wages, plus $537.00, $337.00, and $139.50 in royalties;

-- Rutger Hauer is due $89.64 and $57.35 from the Gas Company;

-- The late Sessue Hayakawa (the intimidating 'Colonel Saito' from The Bridge on the River Kwai) passed away in 1973, and he never closed down his Bank of America account, which had $2,523.79 in it;

-- Sean Hayes from "Will and Grace" is owed $769.68 and $537.00 by NBC/Universal;

-- Patricia Hearst can claim the $475.25 she’s owed by Pacific Capital Bank without using a machine gun to get it!

-- Joey Heatherton (“mee-ow!”) is due $106.76 from NBC/Universal;

-- Anne Heche and her estranged husband Coleman Laffoon are together entitled to retrieve $6,367.00 from the Utah Division of Finance Distribution. Additionally, Anne, on her own, is entitled to $68.46 in unpaid salary;

-- Tippi Hedren is owed $12.68 by NBC/Universal – and that’s not for The Birds!

-- Katherine Heigl (from Heatherton to Heigl in one sentence!) is owed both $65.17 and $330.75 by Disney, and $279.57 in residuals from an unspecified source;

-- Marg Helgenberger, who adds sass – and class – to every t.v. show and movie she’s in, deserves the $418.00 and $214.25 salaries which are owed to her company, “Don’t Call Me Marge Productions;”

-- Jerome Hellman, who produced 1978’s Coming Home and a lot of other great movies, is due $37.04 from a court settlement;

-- The late Margaux Hemingway is listed on the California State Controller’s website, because she’s due $1,154.45 in municipal bonds and $280.32 from the State of Idaho;

-- Mariel Hemingway is eligible to receive $629.00 and $270.00 in royalties (or residuals) from unnamed companies, $492.80 from ABC, $260.87 from Verizon, $46.85 from AB Cellular Holdings, and $21.67 from MGM;

-- The late great comedian Shirley Hemphill – she played 'Shirley' on “What’s Happening!” – is due from $48.40 from Universal;

-- T.V.’s legendary 'George Jefferson,' Sherman Hemsley, has 13 smallish claims which together equal $800.00;

-- Florence Henderson, t.v.’s 'Carol Brady,' is owed $130.99 by BMG Music;

-- Marilu Henner, “Taxi’s” sultry redhead, is due a royalty payment in the amount of $822.00;

-- Pamela Hensley, who used to brighten up my teen-age years on the t.v. show “Buck Rogers,” is due $38.86 from Universal;

-- The late Jim Henson is owed $522.00 by Time Warner Cable;

-- Barbara Hershey is due $129.15 from NBC;

-- Jennifer Love Hewitt is due $299.40 from Warner Bros.;

-- Cheryl Hines, always good as Larry David’s wife on “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” is due $300.37 from an unnamed production company, $216.57 and $82.71 from Warner Bros., and $10.49 from a credit union;

-- The late Gregory Hines, talented actor and dancer, is owed $360.00 from an insurance company and $212.96 from the State of New York;

-- “Good e-vening, Unclaimed Assets!” The late Alfred Hitchcock, and his daughter Patricia O’Connell are together due $500.00 in dividends from the Singer sewing machine company and $240.00 from the State of Illinois;

-- Dustin Hoffman’s notoriously “difficult personality,” which he lampooned in the classic comedy Tootsie, will disappear when he discover that he’s due $572.08 from Delta Dental, as well as $286.04, reported as “insurance claim checks;”

-- The late Bob Hope thanks us for the memory of $524.41 his family is due from an unnamed production company, plus $13.41 in stock dividends;

-- Sir Anthony Hopkins will enjoy the $462.00 in unpaid royalties he is due, with some fava beans and a nice chianti;

-- Dennis Hopper: Hey, “man,” here’s $53.64 for you! Far out!

-- The late John Houseman (he made money the old-fashioned way: he earrrrrned it) is owed $280.67 from the Occidental Petroleum Corporation;

-- When I was a kid, growing up in the ‘70s, I used to love a game show called “The Liar’s Club.” The host, Larry Hovis, is owed $227.53 from the Mercury Casualty Insurance Company;

-- Vanessa Hudgens is due $894.00 from Disney;

-- Kate Hudson and her company Birdie Productions are due $610.00 from an unnamed production company;

-- The Late Rock Hudson left a bank account with $261.90, and didn’t live to collect the $119.21 which he is still due from MCA Records;

-- Desperate Housewife Felicity Huffman might be less desperate, when she finds out that she is entitled to $323.38 and $149.80 from an unnamed production company, and that she’s also due a bank refund in the amount of $60.68;

-- Helen Hunt cleans up! She’s due $3,306.55, $1,285.03, and $1,002.95 from various banks, $1,567.00, $648.00, and $444.00 in unpaid salaries, plus $1,129.99 from stocks;

-- William Hurt should stop brooding for just long enough to collect the $617.00 he’s due from an unnamed production company;

-- Angelica Huston is owed $187.00 from a bank;

-- The Late John Huston is owed $832.04 in residuals from Time-Warner Cable;

-- "Saturday Night Live's" Melaine Hutsell, who did a mean 'Jan Brady' imitation, is due $208.41 in residuals from an unnamed company, plus $59.51 and $15.30 from MGM.


I:

-- Ice Cube (O’Shea Jackson) is owed $466.59 by NBC/Universal;

-- Ice-T (Tracy Marrow) is owed $365.83 and $20.70 by Disney, $115.26 in unpaid residuals from an unlisted company, and $721.33 from a bank;

-- Ka-ching! Rhys Ifans has never collected the $4,664.41 which he’s due from Disney, nor did he ever pick up the $47.15 which he’s due from Warner Bros;

-- The first record album I ever owned, when I was three years old, was “Burl Ives Sings ‘Little White Duck’ and Other Songs.” The late Burl Ives is due $102.24 from stocks and $39.00 from an insurance company;




J:

-- Hugh Jackman can dance on over and retrieve the $590.00 which he’s due, from Disney;

-- Jermaine Jackson is due $1,696.70 from an insurance company, $738.20 from a court settlement, $4.32 from Sony, and $2.24 in residuals from an unknown company;

-- Kate Jackson has the contents to a safety deposit box to contend with;

-- Tito Jackson is due $910.88 from stocks;

-- Mick Jagger is owed $552.57 and $315.00 by Disney, plus $50.47 in residuals from an unnamed source;

-- Director Henry Jaglom’s characters contemplate their belly-buttons. Henry should contemplate the $135.73 which he’s owed by an insurance company;

-- Thomas Jane is due $2,981.71, from Talent Partners;

-- I met Allison Janney at a party once. She was talking to three guys named Steve at the same time, and I told her my name was Chuck, and she said, "Look! Three Steves and a Chuck!" She is owed $471.75 in residuals, from an unnamed company;

-- Conrad Janis, the excellent actor and jazz musician, is owed $125.59 by AIG Insurance Co.;

-- The late (and badass) Waylon Jennings is owed $23.15 and $8.83 from Studio Payroll Services, and $8.85 from Sony;

-- The late George Jessel, the “Toastmaster General” himself, is owed $998.15, $500.00, and $230.54 from BMG Music;

-- Scarlett Johansson is owed $97.49 by Studio Payroll Services;

-- Elton John is due $1,244.04 by Disney (probably from something related to “The Lion King”);

-- T.V.’s Arte Johnson used to pop up from behind a plant on “Laugh-In” and say, “Very interesting!” Very Interestingly, he’s owed twenty-two cents by Sony!

-- Angelina Jolie is owed $659.01 in royalties from Disney;

-- Catherine Zeta-Jones is due a refund of $962.77 from American Airlines;

-- The late Spike Jones, king of the novelty record, is owed $27.50 from his Coca-Cola stocks;

-- The American Olivier, James Earl Jones, is owed $34.07 in royalty payments;

-- Quincy Jones: The musical genius whose friends call him ‘Q’ makes our ears feel good in every possible musical genre. He is due $1,780.51 from a court settlement, $650.00 as a refund from an unspecified company, $60.92 (listed as a “vendor payment”), and $29.34 from Universal. ‘Q’ might have some more claims, as well, because there are various Quincy Joneses listed on the Unclaimed Assets website;

-- Film director Spike Jonze (Adam Spiegel) is owed $92.92 by Disney.

-- Laurence Juber, a fine musician who was a temporary member of Paul McCartney and Wings (Juber played on the 1979 Wings album “Back to the Egg”), is owed $181.75 from a court settlement. I’m mentioning this to thank him, because in the ‘80s, he played a lunch time concert at my high school (North Hollywood High).




K:

-- The Kardashian Family, including Kim and lawyer dad Robert, have two pages of claims to “keep up” with;

-- Richard Karn, from “Home Improvement” is due $154.70 from Disney;

-- Vincent Kartheiser, from “Mad Men,” is due $616.50 and $97.10 in wages, plus refunds of $144.90 and $26.88 from a recreational equipment store;

-- Chris Kattan is owed $272.08 from an unnamed production company;

-- Jeffrey Katzenberg is due $42.53 from the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company;

-- Lainie Kazan is due $248.97 from Time Warner Cable, $109.98 and $54.99 from Lucent Technologies, $164.84 from NBC/Universal, $75.40 from MGM, and $41.40 in stock shares;

-- Stacy Keach is owed $1,288.46 from a bank, $154.00 from the State of Illinois, and a $61.94 refund from an unnamed company;

-- George Kennedy is due $100.00 from Universal Pictures and $20.49 from Sony Pictures;

-- Jayne Kennedy, one of the sultriest heartthrobs of the ‘70s, is due $6.05 from Warner Bros.;

-- Leon Isaac Kennedy, Jayne’s ex-husband, with whom she starred in a 1981 remake of the ‘40s classic Body and Soul, is due $53.16 from an old savings account;

-- Ken Kercheval (‘Cliff Barnes’ from “Dallas”) is due fourteen cents from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Joanna Kerns is due $4,556.94 from Disney;

-- The late Persis Khambatta, the bald lady from the first Star Trek movie (and she was also a former Miss India) is due $601.00 in residuals from Paramount Pictures;

-- Margot Kidder has the contents of a safety deposit box to look at;

-- Val Kilmer is due $9.69 from Disney;

-- The late Mabel King, better known as “Mama” from “What’s Happening,” is owed $100.00, $148.56, $50.00, and $100.00, all from Universal;

-- Greg Kinnear, a fine actor (check out his 2008 movie Flash of Genius to see his stellar performance), has both $56.74 and $65.33 coming to him from Sony;

-- The late Klaus Kinski is due $77.96 from a court settlement;

-- Nastassja Kinski, daughter of Klaus, has to unwrap that big python from around herself and collect the $177.63 that her company, Cardamom Productions, is owed, plus the $108.22 in refunds which she is owed by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance;

-- Sally Kirkland was, of course, great in the movie for which she won Best Supporting Actor, 1987’s Anna, and she was also good in director Tom O’Horgan’s counter-culture epic, Futz (1969). She’s due $30.83 from Sony and a $67.65 refund from Verizon;

-- Tawny Kitaen has 38 separate claims! She can buy me a small Coke!

-- The late Werner Klemperer (a great conductor, who also happens to have been Colonel Klink from “Hogan’s Heroes”) is owed $70.00 by the Standard Fire Insurance Company;

-- Jack Klugman is due $150.01 from the State of Massachusetts;

-- Don Knotts would have cured his eternal sniffle, had he known that he had $876.75 coming to him from Delta Dental and $194.00 from Security Pacific Bank;

-- The late, beyond-great Harvey Korman (“That’s Hedley…!”) is owed $52.00 by Allstate Insurance and $50.00 by Disney, as well as $80.96, from a court settlement;

-- Sho Kosugi, who starred in a fun little actioner called Enter the Ninja in 1981 (the Wachowski Brothers pay tribute to Kosugi by including him in the cast of their new 2009 movie, Ninja Assassin), has an old savings account with $672.56 in it;

-- Yaphet Kotto is due $1,000.00 from an escrow company;

-- MTV owes Lenny Kravitz $1,191.02!

-- Kris Kristofferson will not be “busted flat in Baton Rouge,” when he learns that he’s entitled to a $250.00 refund from a hospital;

-- The late Stanley Kubrick famously had control over everything – but apparently, he didn’t know about the five royalty payments he continues to be due from “Payroll Services,” in the amounts of $189.62, $116.29, $154.97, $238.26, and $392.52.

-- Nancy Kulp, Ms. Jane Hathaway from “The Beverly Hillbillies,” is owed $475.29 and $109.45 from Disney, and $80.45 from Sony.




L:

-- The late Fernando Lamas (“you look mah-velous!”) has $787.49 that he never picked up from Universal Pictures;

-- Lorenzo Lamas, son of Fernando, is due $182.11 from the Progressive Casualty Insurance Company, plus $19.67 and $22.15 from MGM;

-- Martin Landau is owed $250.00 by News Corp. (Fox). Martin and his ex-wife Barbara Bain (they were great together, on “Space 1999”) are owed $366.88 in SBC stocks, $16.70 from AT&T, and $11.15 from Comcast;

-- Diane Lane has $648.00 coming to her from Disney (if she applies to the Unclaimed Assets website for it), plus $55.13 in an old savings account, plus $41.39 in residuals from an unlisted company;

-- The late Hope Lange, from t.v.’s “Ghost and Mrs. Muir” and the big screen’s Death Wish, left behind stock dividends of $429.80;

-- The late Charles Laughton, “Captain Kidd” himself, has four claims from MCA Records, in the amounts of $1,226.38, $201.67, $199.99, and $169.21;

-- Lucy Lawless ("Xena: Warrior Princess") is due $542.79 and $421.61 from 20th Century Fox (aka, News Publishing, Australia), $465.00 and $265.56 from unnamed companies, and $96.00 from the Auto Club;

-- Carol Lawrence always enjoys a nice cup of General Foods Café Suisse Mocha, and she might also enjoy the $902.43 she is due from an unnamed production company, the $220.00 she’s due from the State of New York, and the $49.70 she’s due from Delta Dental Insurance. She’s also got $330.75 sitting in an old savings account;

-- George Lazenby, who played James Bond once, in 1969’s On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, is due $219.96, from a court settlement;

-- Shia LaBeouf is owed $401.84 by News Corp., Australia (aka, 20th Century Fox);

-- 'Billy Jack,' himself, Tom Laughlin, and his wife Delores, are together due $78.91 from a court settlement and Delores, on her own, is due $85.33 from the American Reserve Insurance Company;

-- Cloris Leachman is due a refund of $69.95;

-- Jennifer Jason Leigh is owed $305.01 in unpaid wages, by Paramount;

-- Michael Lembeck is owed $1.02 by the Chicago Title Company;

-- Here’s one of the big winners in the Celebrity Unclaimed Assets Contest: Jack Lemmon’s family is due to collect the princely sum of $21,423.39 in Life Insurance, from Sun Life Insurance of Canada. Lemmon’s dependents are also entitled to his five claims from ASCAP, the music publishing company, in the amounts of $258.50, $146.47, $127.71, $71.96, and $71.16, plus they are entitled to $481.35 which he is owed by Universal Pictures;

-- Julian Lennon is owed $1,647.53 from a bank, plus $264.00, $241.00, and $34.24 from insurance companies;

-- Character actor Ted Levine is due $413.98 from Time Warner Cable;

-- Kay Lenz is due $28.46, $6.54, and $7.18 in residuals from unnamed production companies, $36.00 from the Auto Club, $38.62 from MGM, and $11.09 from NBC/Universal;

-- Producer Avi Lerner is entitled to $396.00 from the West Coast Escrow Company and $23.89 from the Gas Company;

-- Live from New York, it’s David Letterman, who is owed $196.24 in stock dividends;

-- Hal Linden, “Barney Miller” himself, is owed $602.14 from Tiffany and Company;

-- Art Linkletter, still going strong in his nineties, is owed $775.60 from a production company;

-- The late Larry Linville, 'Major Frank Burns' from t.v.'s "M*A*S*H," is owed $365.13 from an insurance company and $77.90 in residuals, from an unnamed company;

-- John Lithgow’s wife, Mary, was my economics professor at UCLA – so why didn’t she clue him in to the fact that he’s owed $10.33 in residuals?

-- Little Richard (Richard W. Penniman) has two full pages of claims that he needs to check out;

-- Lucy Liu is due a refund of $196.00 from overpayment on an escrow check;

-- That very good character Tony Lo Bianco is due $585.97 from Universal Pictures;

-- June Lockhart is due $30.21, from “Waste Management Services;”

-- Lindsay Lohan is frustrated about how her career has been going of late, but she would not be frustrated if she knew that she is entitled to receive two payments, in the amounts of $1,100.00 and $459.80;

-- Shelley Long is owed $213.52 by MGM;

-- Tina Louise, 'Ginger' from “Gilligan’s Island,” is due $43.24 from Republic Pictures, $56.00 from “Paid Prescriptions, Inc.,” and $11.65 from stocks;

-- Courtney Love is owed $566.62 by NBC/Universal and $2.57 by Paypal;

-- Jon Lovitz is owed $775.00 by an unnamed production company;

-- The late Myrna Loy, so memorable in The Best Years of Our Lives and dozens of other classic movies, is due $827.76, $300.96, and $288.90 from California Federal Savings and Loan, and $325.50 from Universal Pictures;

-- The very good actor Laurence Luckinbill, husband of Lucie Arnaz, is due $318.09 by Disney;

-- The late Ida Lupino, who was not only a terrific actress but also one of the first, and best, woman directors, is owed $139.40 by Providence St. Joseph Medical Center, $50.00 by ABC, and $30.00 by Chevron;

-- Paul Lynde was a comedy genius. And if he were here, he could collect the $204.65 he is still owed, in unpaid salary.




M:

-- The late (and hilarious) Bernie Mac’s heirs are eligible to receive the $41.00 which Disney owes him;

-- Hilarious Norm MacDonald, the most deadpan human being who’s ever lived, is due $272.08 from an unnamed production company. I think he didn’t get the money, because the claim is misspelled as “McDonald;”

-- William H. Macy is entitled to $570.00 from Disney, as well as $242.76 in other payments;

-- William H. Macy and his wife Felicity Huffman are, together, entitled to $1,048.42 courtesy of a disputed escrow check;

-- Madonna is due $4.72 from Charles Schwab and, separately, she is due another two cents (.02) from Schwab! Don’t spend it all in one place, Madge;

-- Film critic Leonard Maltin would presumably give a “four-star” rating to the fact that AARP owes him $2,500.00. Additionally, he is owed $85.61 and $85.61, both listed as “vendor payments,” and he is also due $288.77 from a court settlement;

-- Michael Madsen is due $546.67 (unpaid salary), $4.00 (cashiers check), $3.56 (stock in Harley-Davidson), the contents of a safety deposit box, $27.49 (American Reserve Insurance Company), $241.49 (Mercantile National Bank), $335.25 and $162,50 (from Delta Dental), and $139.63 (from the State of Nevada);

-- Virginia Madsen has $501.00 coming to her from Disney, $131.25 from Delta Dental Insurance, $83.20 from an insurance company, two checks in the amount of $27.10 from the State of Illinois, $40.93 from an unnamed company, and $148.40 from Warner Bros.
Additionally, Virginia and her ex-husband Antonio Sabato, Jr. are together entitled to receive both $39.11 and $6.75 worth of stock dividends, from Walgreens;

-- David Mamet has $208.88 in securities, $912.00 in miscellaneous outstanding checks, and $38.98 from Quest Diagnostics;

-- Here’s $460.36 for Costas Mandylor;

-- Chuck Mangione is due $59.32 by Warner/Chappell Music;

-- The late Ilene Mankiewicz, of the famous Hollywood Mankiewicz family, has two whole pages of claims;

-- Aimee Mann and Michael Penn, two great musicians, are due $21.00 from L.A. State Dept. of Revenue. Penn could buy a pair of “black jeans” with that money;

-- The Doors’ Ray Manzarek will break on through to the other side and receive $104.02 which he’s owed, in Disney stock;

-- The late character actor John Marley (he played 'Woltz,' the producer who woke up with the horse-head in his bed, in The Godfather), is owed $83.59 by NBC/Universal;

-- Steve Martin is owed $155.15, $132.52, $40.70, and $25.99 by Universal, $32.64 by MGM, and $88.08 in royalties from T/Q Music;

-- “What we have here is a failure to communicate!” Cool Hand Luke’s late Strother Martin, he of the white suit and big attitude, is due $131.20 from Paramount Pictures;

-- Eternal crooner Tony Martin is owed $2,534.40, from the Western Digital Corporation;

-- Producer Frank Marshall is due $2,400.00 in unpaid wages, plus $43.29 from an insurance company. (There are also two pages of claims for various people named “Kathleen Kennedy,” but I’m not sure which is the right one.)

-- Garry Marshall is owed $5,222.30 from overpayment on an escrow check;

-- A great musician: Hugh Masekela is owed $297.38 by an insurance company;

-- Jackie Mason is owed $50.00 by Universal;

-- The late “Superfly” himself, Curtis Mayfield, never closed his $14,894.96 checking account!

-- One of my favorite filmmakers of the ‘70s, Paul Mazurksy (“the American Fellini”) is due $94.91 from Warner Bros. and $250.00 from the Mercury Insurance Company. Paul, when you’re sitting around with your friends at Farmer’s Market chatting about world affairs, be sure to tell them about your good fortune in the Unclaimed Assets World;

-- Kent McCord (“One Adam-12!”) has the contents of a safety deposit box to check out;

-- Marilyn McCoo is entitled to $635.25 in salary, from an unnamed company;

-- “Love means never having to say you’re sorry:” Ali McGraw , who is appearing in a current Macy's commercial, is owed $100.00 by the State of New York;

-- Whatever happened to the great 1980’s actress Elizabeth McGovern? She left show biz without collecting the $1,234.00 and $576.00 she’s still owed in back salary, plus the $357.22 refund she’s due from Tiffany and Company. When I was in high school and I worked in that movie theater – the one where I wouldn’t let Eileen Brennan in for free, and where I sold Dyan Cannon popcorn – Elizabeth McGovern’s lookalike sister Cammie worked there with me, and she was nice. (Today, Cammie is a published author!)

-- Rose McGowan is due $59.50 in royalty payments. (I wish I could deliver it in person!)

-- Sir Ian McKellen is owed the Lordly sums of $667.00 from Disney and $454.36 from Universal;

-- The late Butterfly McQueen is owed $291.71 by Disney;

-- Nobody will ever be as cool as Steve McQueen, and nobody will ever be entitled to the $3,149.28 he’s owed by Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, the $159.07 he’s owed by Home Savings and Loan, and the $50.00 he’s due from Time Warner Cable, except for his living family members;

-- The late and mega-cool Ralph Meeker, star of the ultimate film noir, Kiss Me Deadly, has four claims from Universal Pictures, in the amounts of $140.37, $80.00, $84.79, and $36.39;

-- Eva Mendes is owed $411.11 from Studio Payroll Services and $356.06 from Paramount Pictures. Probably, she didn’t know about these claims, because they are listed on the Unclaimed Assets website under a misspelled last name – the incorrect “Mendez” with a “z,” instead of the correct “Mendes,” with an “s;”

-- The late Ethel Merman: $2,000.00, $355.21, $169.86, $169.86, $145.05, $145.05, $93.24, and $39.65 (stocks and salaries). Some or all of these claims might also be earmarked for Ethel Merman’s daughter, who has also passed away, and whose name was also – you guessed it – Ethel Merman…;

-- Dennis Miller is owed $159.05 and $66.00 from Turner Network Television, $58.35 from Universal Pictures, and $79.99 from a court settlement;

-- Alyssa Milano is owed $68.28 by Paypal;

-- Yvette Mimieux, a 1960’s favorite, is owed $94.35 by Warner Bros.;

-- Kylie Minogue is due $420.21 from an unnamed company;

-- Helen Mirren is owed $39.76 by Pacific Bell, $126.98 by NBC/Universal… and thirty-eight cents by Disney!

-- The very good actor Sasha Mitchell (I went to elementary school with him) is due $183.59 from Time Warner Cable and $111.06 from Warner Bros.;

-- The late Robert Mitchum, King of Cool, is owed $931.71, $169.61, and $59.54 by T/Q Music, Inc, $253.60 by Time Warner Cable, and $69.93 from a court settlement. He’s also got $744.03 worth of stocks. (That would buy a lot of weed – I mean, medicine!)

-- Matthew Modine, currently saving the alpacas, is due $285.17 from Medco Health Solutions. Matthew and his wife Carrie are together due $63.04 from an old bank account;

-- The late Elizabeth Montogmery is owed $3.60 by Sony. (There are a lot of other “Elizabeth Montogmeries” with claims on the website, but I’m not sure they are her.)

-- Soleil Moon-Frye, owner of the world’s trippiest name, is owed $180.13 by Disney;

-- The late Agnes Moorehead, one of Orson Welles’s Mercury Theater players, who might be better known as Endora from “Bewitched,” has three claims from MCA Records, in the amounts of $138.05, $49.45, and $73.45;

-- Maestro Ennio Morricone, possibly the greatest movie composer of them all (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly; Once Upon a Time in America; Once Upon a Time in the West) is due $3,205.43, $2,524.61, $730.14, and $78.16, all in unpaid wages from Universal Pictures. Morricone will be at the Hollywood Bowl on October 25, to play his first-ever concert in Los Angeles, so maybe somebody can tell him about it!

-- One of my favorite character actors, Roger E. Mosley, has an old Wells Fargo bank account with $115.85 in it;

-- The late Pat Morita, “Mr. Miyagi” himself, is owed $745.80 by Disney, $137.43 by Paramount. Also, his family can obtain $73.32, the interest that has accumulated on his terminated life insurance policy;

-- Garrett Morris, from the original “SNL,” is due $32.17 from Universal;

-- The late Vic Morrow is owed $279.03 by Glendale Savings and Loan;

-- Donny Most (“Ralph-Malph!”) is owed $44.50 and $29.10 from Disney;

-- Late actor Richard Mulligan (from t.v.’s “Soap”) is due $552.00, $244.50, $210.24, and $210.23 from Disney, plus $238.40 and $54.00 from unnamed companies;

-- Dermot Mulroney doesn’t miss the $260.80 that an insurance company owes him and the $262.81 refund he’s owed from the San Jose Medical Center.




N:

-- Graham Nash is owed $130.12 by Blue Cross and $52.73 from a court settlement;

-- ‘Subliminal Man’ himself, the super-funny Kevin Nealon, is owed $213.08 by the Mercury Casualty Insurance Company, and $5.81 by MGM;

-- Harriet Nelson, of “Ozzie and Harriet,” is owed $156.26 by Sony and $127.95 by the Spelling Entertainment Group;

-- “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself:” The late Ricky Nelson is still owed $7.44 in residuals from an unnamed company and $2.27 from Sony;

-- Michael Nesmith, from the Monkees (he’s also a superior film producer, and his mother invented Liquid Paper!), is owed $199.25 in residuals from an unnamed company, plus $59.22 from an insurance company;

-- Producer Mace Neufeld (The Hunt for Red October) is due $165.47 from a bank;

-- "I don't know much, but I know I have unclaimed assets. That may be all I need to know:" Aaron Neville is due $1,209.69 from General Electric and $61.72 from Warner Bros.;

-- Bob Newhart (he’s listed on the Unclaimed Assets website as ‘Robert Newhart’) is owed $3.79 by NBC/Universal;

-- The late Alfred Newman: Composer of many fine film scores, as well as of the famous “20th Century Fox” logo music and the uncle of Randy Newman, the late Alfred Newman is owed $209.78 and $54.74 by MCA Records. Alfred’s son, David Newman, is a contemporary film composer, and he might have some claims of his own, but it’s hard to tell, because the Unclaimed Assets website lists four pages of “David Newmans;”

-- Laraine Newman from the original “SNL” is owed $32.80 in payroll from an unnamed company;

-- Paul Newman cashed out before he could cash in on the $1,271.71 he’s owed by British Airways and the $2,687.52 to which he and his long-time agent, the late Irving Axelrad, are entitled, courtesy of stock dividends from AT&T;

-- Randy Newman loves ‘short people,’ but does he also love the $724.00 salary he’s back-due, the $104.00 he’s due from an insurance company, the $65.06 he’s due from Verizon, and the $16.05 he’s due from a bank?

-- Leslie Nielsen (I saw him shopping in Vons market in Studio City, once) has two separate claims of $553.00, listed as “unpaid wages;”

-- Lisa Niemi, a very good dancer and actress who was also Mrs. Patrick Swayze, is due $6.63 in residuals;

-- Leonard Nimoy will prick up his ears when he finds out he has $212.00 coming to him, in from a court settlement;

-- The late great singer/songwriter Harry Nilsson, a great favorite of John, Paul, George, and Ringo, still has $41.22 coming to him – or to his heirs, anyway – via Capitol Records/EMI;

-- The late and very missed David Niven is still entitled to receive $318.80 from Universal and $153.40 from Studio Payroll Services, plus he’s got two claims of $50.00, each one being from Disney;

-- Nick Nolte is owed a great deal of money by various movie studios, and he might be too cool to care! He is owed $1,830.85, $1,331.11, and $1,540.61 by Disney, $1,157.55 by Universal, $79.71 by Union Bank, and $50.00 by Time Warner Cable.

-- When 20th Century Fox felt that Marilyn Monroe had become unreliable, they were going to “replace her” with the late Sheree North, who went on to have a fine career of her own, in movies and television. The late Ms. North is entitled to receive $477.44 from St. John’s Hospital, $36.89 from Studio Payroll Services, and a number of claims from NBC/Universal, in the amounts of $36.89, $34.73, $16.48, $27.85, $23.65, $17.65, and $5.06.




O:

-- Who’s cooler than the late Warren Oates? His heirs can pick up his Unclaimed Assets of $100.00 from Universal Pictures and $50.00 from NBC/Universal;

-- Ashley Olsen is due $1,068.82 from a bank, plus $123.51, $100.05, $55.60, and $27.80, all from Disney;

-- Mary-Kate Olsen is due $1,068.82 from a bank, $123.51 from Disney, $62.53 from a court settlement, and $56.175 from Broadcast Music International;

-- Emily Osment is due $10.71 in stock dividends;

-- Haley Joel Osment is due $107.90 from Paramount Pictures;

-- Mike Ovitz will have his foot-soldiers walk up and down Wilshire Blvd. and blow everybody’s brains out, if he doesn’t get the $64.63 he’s owed by Tiffany and Company, plus the $65.00 in salary he’s owed by “Museum Associates,” plus the $125.53 he’s due from a court settlement;

-- Clive Owen could be part owner of the Disney Corporation, because Disney owes him back wages of $2,658.18, $907.35. $540.09, $316.07, and $230.15. Also, he’s owed $12.32 from an unnamed company;

-- Frank Oz: This great filmmaker and Muppeteer is owed $898.39 and $860.34 by Disney, as well as $180.65, $69.27, and $55.45 in residuals from unnamed production companies.




P:

-- The late, great Lawanda Page from “Sanford and Son” (Esther!!!) has 23 separate claims, and we’re talking big bucks for this famously groundbreaking comedienne;

-- Nothing listed on the Unclaimed Assets website for Jack Palance, but his striking daughter Holly Palance, a very fine actress in her own right who used to host the “Ripley’s Believe It Or Not” ABC show, is due $32.93 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Hayden Panettiere is due royalties of $1.58 and forty-six cents from unnamed companies… and one penny, from Disney!

-- The late Fess Parker, t.v.’s legendary “Daniel Boone,” is due $480.53 from News Publishing, Australia (Fox), $287.58 from a hospital overpayment, $203.81 and $162.71 from an oil refinery, and $181.11 from the Textron Financial Corporation;

-- I ain’t afraid of no ghosts! Ray Parker, Jr. is entitled to $259.01 from Disney and $157.83 from Universal;

-- Producer Walter F. Parkes is due $928.35, $786.73, $697.02, and $200.84 from the State of New York, $777.00 and $180.07 from Universal Pictures, and $204.00 and $104.00 from Delta Dental Insurance;

-- The great character actor Michael Parks, whose career, of late, has been resurrected by Tarantino, is owed $6.61 by MGM, the studio for whom he starred in the 1969 cult t.v. series, “Then Came Bronson;”

-- “SNL’s” super-funny Chris Parnell is due $121.93 from Warner Bros.;

-- Director Simon Pegg makes Zombies funny. He’s due $210.00 from Disney and $39.36 from an unnamed company;

-- Kal Penn, of Harold and Kumar fame, can buy a lot of White Castle burgers with the $1,732.35 and $673.52 he’s owed by Warner Bros. and the $6.85 he’s owed by Sony;

-- Sean Penn, brother of Michael Penn (see above), forgot to pick up the $3,346.00 that Universal continues to owe him. He’s also due $698.13 and $39.30 from unnamed production companies. (“Mr. Spiccoli, what are you doing?” “Whoa, Mr. Hand! I’m learnin’ about Cuba… and having some unclaimed assets!”)

-- The late great George Peppard is owed $153.50 in court settlements, $84.73 in court settlements, and $46.00 by the state of Illinois;

-- The late great Anthony Perkins (“Norman Bates”) is owed $342.71, $89.81, and $406.53 by Universal – no doubt relating to the Psycho franchise – and $7.71 from another source;

-- Ron Perlman, 'Hellboy' himself, has $1,589.57 coming to him from stocks, $491.26, $399.29, and $72.50 from Time Warner Cable, and $114.25 from an unnamed company;

-- Valerie Perrine is due $55.07 in salary from an unnamed company and $29.78 from NBC/Universal, plus she’s got two separate claims in the amount of $31.39 each, which are listed as refunds from an insurance company;

-- Tom Petty is owed $143.46 from a court settlement;

-- Mackenzie Phillips might be slightly less troubled if she knew she was due $115.00 from NBC/Universal;

-- The late Walter Pidgeon is due $56.34 from a court settlement, $26.99 from Universal Pictures, plus $4.61, $3.44, forty-three cents, and thirty-one cents from the Plains Exploration Company;

-- The tragic, late Dana Plato, from the t.v. series “Diff’rent Strokes,” would perhaps not have turned to crime, had she known that she was due $386.40 (or, four claims of $96.15 each from unnamed production companies), plus $55.96, $55.97, and $27.05 from Studio Payroll Services. In addition, Dana and her mother Florine, who has also passed away, together left stocks in the amounts of $275.91 and $32.43;

-- The late director Sydney Pollack is due $105.41, $75.04, and $65.66, all in court settlements, $299.30 from Warner Bros., and $65.04 from an unnamed production company;

-- Sarah Polley, the fine actress and director, is owed $546.00 by Studio Payroll Services;

-- That little sparkplug Parker Posey is owed both $38.13 and $19.39 from MGM;

-- Pete Postlethwaite has $5,110.86 in a forgotten bank account and $467.54 that he’s owed in residuals;

-- The late Tom Poston is owed $22.98 in residuals;

-- Annie Potts (she was great opposite Mark Hamill in 1978’s Corvette Summer, and of course, she was also one of the "Designing Women") is owed $51.83 by a bank;

-- The late Tyrone Power left $50.65 behind, in a savings account;

-- The late (tyrannical) filmmaker Otto Preminger never made his exodus to Paramount Pictures to pick up the $61.19 he was owed. His heirs can pick it up from the website of the State Controller;

-- Ed Pressman, one of the finest independent producers, is due $116.20 from Tiffany and Company and $50.00 from the Alta Health and Life Insurance Company;

-- As (I think) he says at the beginning of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller, ”Whomsoever shall be found with the soul of getting down:” The late Vincent Price is owed $300.54 from a court settlements;

-- Will it go 'round in circles? The late Billy Preston, who the Beatles considered to be “The Fifth Beatle,” is due $92.37 from Capitol Records;

-- Kelly Preston (Mrs. John Travolta) is owed $141.70 by the U.S. Trust Company, $1,778.87 by Warner Bros, and $1,301.95 by Warner Bros;

-- Reality show kingpin Jeff Probst is owed $241.66 from an insurance company, plus twenty-nine cents in back salary from an unnamed company;

-- The late Richard Pryor is due $50.00 from NBC Universal plus another $2.00 (eight bits!) from Disney;

-- The late Denver Pyle (‘Uncle Jesse,’ from “Dukes of Hazzard”) is due $408.34 from Warner Bros., $73.96 from Disney, and $17.25 from NBC/Universal.




Q:

-- Queen Latifah (Dana E. Owens) is the Queen of Hip-Hop, and she’s also The Queen of This Article, because she’s owed $4,143.61 and $233.70 by Time Warner Cable, $995.32 by NBC/Universal, and $100.85, $84.42, and $96.80 by Warner Bros.

-- Evi Quaid, wife of Randy, might be able to use the $50.58 she’s due from AT&T to pay off a delinquent hotel bill;

-- The Mighty Quinn himself, the late Anthony Quinn, is due $163.00 from an insurance company;




R:

-- Charlotte Rae, who played ‘Mrs. Garrett’ on the sit-com “The Facts of Life,” is due $153.73 from MGM;

-- The late George Raft loved to flip coins; he could have flipped the $258.25 which he’s still due, courtesy of the Occidental Oil and Gas Company;

-- Steve Railsback, a completely underappreciated actor (he definitely holds his own against Peter O’Toole, in 1980’s The Stuntman), is due $50.00, which is listed as a “refund on a money order;”

-- Brett Ratner is owed $150.93 by Quest Diagnostics;

-- The Rat Pack and Their Families: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., and Peter Lawford, individually and through their corporations and foundations, have a multitude of claims, too many to mention, and their heirs have some claims of their own, too. In fact, these guys have enough claims for a second, stand-alone article;

-- Nicholas Ray, the late, venerated director of Rebel Without a Cause and many other fine film noir efforts, has twenty separate claims that his heirs need to check out;

-- Gene Rayburn, the no-longer-living host of “The Match Game,” says, “I wish ‘Dumb Dora’ had a blank,” and of course by blank, he must mean the $380.16 which he, and not ‘Dumb Dora,’ is owed, by NBC/Universal;

-- The late Martha Raye (“The Big Mouth”) is due $72.00, $16.24, and $11.58 from NBC/Universal, plus $15.48 from Sony;

-- Years ago, when Keanu Reeves used to live in an apartment on Hayworth Avenue, and I can confirm this, because my sister moved into the same unit after he moved out, and she and her roommate used to open – and drunkenly answer – his fan mail! Pacific Bell owes the K-Man a refund of $85.60 dating to when he lived on Hayworth, and he is still entitled to receive it. As Keanu himself might say: “Whoa!”

-- “Bad girl” Tara Reid is entitled to $624.78, $620.31, and $611.00 in salary, plus $82.07 from “Paid Prescriptions, Inc.,” plus she’s got $208.26 sitting around in an old checking account;

-- Burt Reynolds will always be cool, and he’s owed $195.20 and $73.48 in Disney stock, $49.43 in Hormel Foods stock, plus $50.00 in Time Warner Cable stock;

-- Giovanni Ribisi is due $172.63 from Universal;

-- Marissa Ribisi is due $147.78, 146.72, and $9.67 in wages from unnamed companies, plus $54.82 from Warner Bros.;

-- Don Rickles can’t be too much of a hockey puck, because he’s owed $371.19 by the Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company;

-- Diana Rigg, “The Avengers’” original Emma Peel, is due $30.34 from the Bank of America;

-- Carl Reiner is due $616.50 (Disney, royalties);

-- Lionel Richie had a dream… he had an awesome dream… that he was entitled to $6.74 from Sony;

-- Molly Ringwald is owed $1,140.84 by the Chase Manhattan Bank;

-- Lisa Rinna, who should have a whole holiday dedicated to her lips, has $57.28 coming to her from Tiffany and Co. and she also has a $42.84 refund from So. Cal Edison;

-- Robbie Rist (“Cousin Oliver” from “The Brady Bunch”) is due $68.87 and $8.37 from Sony, $52.93 from Disney, $5.72 from MGM, $105.99 from an unnamed company, and $69.25 from the Auto Club;

-- The late John Ritter has $4.72 due him, in wages for his company Adam Productions;

-- Smokey Robinson is due $1,761.03 from the Callaway Golf Company;

-- Tanya Roberts, my all time favorite of the original “Charlie’s Angels” (all that, plus, to this day, she continues to live next door to my parents – awesome!) has both $175.00 and $111.00 coming to her;

-- Cliff Robertson is owed $5.30 and $5.73 by Sony… and he’s also owed $173.27 from Bank of America, from a savings account;

-- Alex Rocco ('Moe Green' from The Godfather) is owed $1,940.65 plus another $314.00 by Disney, plus $488.50 in residuals from an unnamed production company, plus $81.94 from Paid Prescriptions, Inc.;

-- Chris Rock is owed $50.00 by Paramount;

-- The late Ginger Rogers is due $74.35 from the Spelling Entertainment Group, plus $29.38 from MCA Records;

-- Mimi Rogers is owed $54.56 by Tiffany and Company;

-- One of Hollywood’s best cinematographers, Owen Roizman, is owed $64.00 by Pennzoil!

-- The late Roxie Roker, from “The Jeffersons” (and the mother of Lenny Kravitz) is owed $135.19 in residuals. Lenny can collect it on her behalf;

-- “Everybody Loves Ray Romano,” but does Ray love his residual checks in the amounts of $500.00 and $97.10 enough to try and collect them?

-- Cesar Romero, t.v.’s original ‘Joker,’ was entitled to $84.44 in unpaid salary, but he never knew it. Did you know that when he played the Joker on “Batman,” they put the clown make-up over his mustache, since he wouldn’t let them shave it?

-- The late Ruth Roman, film noir legend, is due both $5.01 and $4.91 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Mickey Rooney has $237.50 coming to him from Chris-Craft Television (“securities”) and $80.00 (“residuals from Universal”);

-- Eternal diva Diana Ross has a $1,125.80 refund coming to her, from a purchase at Neiman-Marcus and $203.43, which is listed as “bond interest;”

-- 20th Century Fox chairman Tom Rothman is the proud winner of $7.70 in dividends;

-- Sing along: “Who’s the cat that won’t cop-out when there’s $179.29 in residuals from an unnamed company plus $50.00 from Universal lying about? Shaft! Damn right!” Richard Roundtree is owed these amounts. Right on!

-- Meg Ryan is owed $1,219.63 from Time Warner Cable and $644.07 from a court settlement'

-- RZA (Robert Diggs) is entitled to receive $398.94 in wages;



S:

-- Heirs of the late Boris Sagal, one of television’s great directors (he turned in a lot of the best episodes of “Rod Serling’s Night Gallery”) are due $1,650.22 and $62.50 from Universal, $1,264.60 from an unnamed company, $178.48 from the American Reserve Insurance Company, $165.66 from NBC, and $62.50 from Universal;

-- Daughter of Boris Sagal, Katey Sagal, of “Married with Children” and “Futurama” fame (she’s also a great vocalist), is due a $5,685.00 refund from the American International Insurance Company, $146.10 from the State of Mississippi, and $48.00 from Medco Health Services;

-- Tony Sales, son of Soupy, part of David Bowie’s short-lived ‘80s band Tin Machine (remember them?) is owed $14.57 by BMI Music;

-- Producer Elie Samaha is owed $293.00 from Pacific Bell;

-- Michael Sarrazin, that great movie actor whose only crime is that he looks like Peter Fonda – only he’s Canadian – is owed $200 from a bank;

-- Diana Scarwid, Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest, is owed $32.13 from auto insurance;

-- The late director Franklin J. Schaffner (Patton) is owed $228.07 in a court settlement;

-- Roy Scheider’s dependents can help themselves to the $361.00 he continues to be due from Universal, and the $210.52 he’s owed, by Southern California Edison. They’ll definitely need “a bigger boat” to carry away that much cash!

-- Rob Schneider: Rob, “You can do it! You can collect the $594.00 in wages that Universal owes you!”

-- “Brady Bunch”/”Gilligan’s Island” creator Sherwood Schwartz, and his daughter Hope, are together entitled to receive $1,098.09 and $195.25 in Mattel Stocks, plus $43.20 in stocks from an unnamed company. Schwartz and his late wife Mildred have a check for $376.40 from an escrow company. Schwartz and his son Lloyd together have $26.90 to collect from a law firm;

-- The late George C. Scott, one of our finest actors, is owed $138.75 by Studio Payroll Services;

-- Ridley Scott should pick up his $6,374.84 in unpaid wages, from NBC-Universal;

-- Sean William Scott, aka “Stiffler,” is entitled to receive $150.03 from Indymac Bancorp Inc.;

-- Tony Scott is entitled to $305.43 in unpaid wages;

-- Ryan Seacrest is due $174.89 from Pacific Bell;

-- Steven Seagal and his ponytail have $87.28 in royalties that he can collect, as well as a $50.00 check from another source;

-- Neil Sedaka is owed $55.04 from a court settlement;

-- Zillionaire Jerry Seinfeld clearly doesn’t need the money, but he ever wants to hand out a good tip at Coi on La Cienega, he’s due $458.25 from Disney;

-- The late Selig J. Seligman was an executive at ABC in the 1960s, and he’s owed $17.16 in ABC stocks. I know you’ve never heard of him, but he’s on the list because he is the owner of the world’s coolest name;

-- The stage director Peter Sellars (not to be confused with the late comedian Peter Sellers) is owed $3,000.00 by the J. Paul Getty Trust;

-- About ten years ago, I almost went on a date with the niece of Tom Selleck (Sierra-Dawn Selleck!) but, at the last minute, the date didn’t happen, because my own sister – who was supposed to be on my side!! – informed Sierra-Dawn that I was in my 30s, and Sierra Dawn was 19 at the time – S. Dawn thought I was younger, but when she found out I was “old,” the date never happened. Anyway, Tom Selleck is owed $1,100.00, $775.00, and $610.00 in unpaid salary from unnamed companies. And I never got to go on that date;

-- Lorenzo Semple, Jr., a writer and script consultant on t.v.’s “Batman,” is owed $566.20 in dividends (with his wife Maria), $144.07 from Universal Pictures, $93.95 from a now-defunct cable t.v. operation that turned its unclaimed assets over to the government (“Directv!”), and $52.04 from a bank;
-- Doc Severinsen has a safety deposit box to look at;

-- William Shatner is due $959.20 (payable to his company Melis Productions), plus $78.20 in residuals;

-- From Spinal Tap to “The Simpsons” to his own radio show, Harry Shearer must be the hardest working man in show business – all that, and he’s owed $421.69 from Disney, $350.00 from the New York Times (it’s listed on the Unclaimed Assets website as, “securities exchanged for cash”), and $50.00 from the District of Columbia;

-- Ally Sheedy is eligible for two refunds from Pacific Bell, in the amounts of $122.11 and $67.83;

-- Charlie Sheen is owed $560.12 from a court settlement and $60.81 from Paypal;

-- Martin Sheen, Charlie’s dad, the man who said we should allow homeless people into our hearts, but not into his home, is entitled to $1,008.00, $736.15, and $6.40, from unnamed production companies;

-- Sid Sheinberg and Lorraine (Gary) Sheinberg, both of them no longer with us, have $454.00;

-- Talia Shire (“Yo, Adriane! Here’s some money for ya!”) is owed $49.22 by Disney;

-- Elisabeth Shue is due $4,526.61 from News Corp., Australia (Fox), and I’m guessing the reason she didn’t get it, is because they spelled her first name wrong in the claim (they spelled it as ‘Elizabeth,’ with a ‘z’ instead of as ‘Elisabeth’ with an ‘s’);

-- Sarah Silverman (aka, “My first ex-wife;” are you listening, God?) is owed $321.00 by NBC/Universal and $352.66 by MGM;

-- Gene Simmons is owed $170.00 in a court settlement;

-- Lori Singer, the world’s sexiest violinist – plus, she was the lead in the original Footloose – is due $68.46 and $57.27 in residuals;

-- Now that’s acting: Gary Sinise is owed $697.00 from an insurance company and $35.80 in residuals;

-- Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue is due $7,500.00 from the State of North Carolina, $912.30 from a court settlement, $220.96 from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, and a $205.00 check from the Fallbrook Mortgage Company;

-- Slash (Saul Hudson) is due $242.43, $80.82, and $80.81 in royalties, from an unnamed company;

-- Louis Prima has no Unclaimed Assets on the California website, but Keely Smith sure does: She’s owed $1,110.47 in salary by “Talent Partners,” $146.08 by Capitol/EMI, $78.71 by ASCAP, and $81.39 by an insurance company;

-- Yeardley Smith, the voice of Lisa Simpson, is owed $99.00 by Manulife Financial, Inc.;

-- Dickie Smothers is owed $69.31 in unpaid wages;

-- The late Dinah Shore is still owed $1,000 in royalties;

-- Christian Slater is owed $356.15 by MGM, $359.62 by Disney, $133.52 by NBC/Universal, $170.46 and $22.49 by an unnamed company, plus $106.00 from the Tenet Healthcare Corp.;

-- The late Anna Nicole Smith is due $143.53 and $68.85 from Paramount Pictures;

-- Wesley Snipes and his company Amen Ra films are owed $2,963.72 in wages;

-- Elke Sommer is owed $1,086.59 in unpaid salary from an unnamed source, and $50.00 and $64.51 by Universal.

-- Suzanne Somers is owed a $209.50 refund from Tiffany & Company;

-- Aaron Sorkin, author of A Few Good Men and creator of "The West Wing" is entitled to receivew $973.67 from "Caremark PCS" and $73.61 from "NYT Sales;"

-- James Spader is owed $94.11 from a court settlement;

-- Now that he’s in the big house, Phil Spector has no need for the $625.00 he’s due from a bank, and the $420.00 which he’s due from an insurance company;

-- The late Aaron Spelling is due $246.80 from a court settlement;

-- Candy Spelling is owed $795.00 by Cedars-Sinai Hospital;

-- The Spelling Entertainment Group is owed $526.81, $437.20, 105.33, $75.31, and $70.00 by AT&T, a refund of $114.54 from the Los Angeles Times, and $114.97 by “Delage Laden Operational Services;”

-- Spelling Television is owed $438.75 (listed as “vendor payments”);

-- Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw are due $7,127.00 from the Utah Division of Finance Disbursement, listed as “Miscellaneous Outstanding Checks;”

-- The late Dusty Springfield would have had “The Look of Love” for the $49.04 she’s owed, in royalties;

-- Paul Stanley, from KISS, is owed $110.48 and $106.38 from Tiffany and Company;

-- Harry Dean Stanton, who’s been cool for longer than most of us have been alive, is due $75.97 and twenty-seven cents, from BMI. That should buy him a drink at Dan Tana’s;

-- Hollywood’s classiest actress, the late Barbara Stanwyck, is owed $133.10 by Warner Bros. and $12.65 by Universal;

-- Connie Stevens is entitled to receive $13.58 in residuals;

-- The late Rod Steiger, an incredibly underappreciated actor who is as great as Brando, Pacino, and De Niro (sorry for the editorializing!) has $34.35 in unpaid royalties, from MGM;

-- Jean Stapleton, aka, 'the one-and-only Edith Bunker,' is due $108.00 in royalties;

-- David Ogden Stiers, from t.v.’s “M*A*S*H,” is owed $397.99 from a court settlement;

-- Stephen Stills is owed $32.01 from a court settlement;

-- Sting (Gordon M. Sumner) is tantrically entitled to receive $3,826.37 from Universal Music Group and an additional $141.65, from a court settlement;

-- Oliver Stone might see this as a conspiracy, but he was never paid the $1,349.31 he is still due from an insurance company, and the $53.25 in interest which has accrued in an old bank account;

-- Sharon Stone is owed $667.00 by Disney;

-- Peter Stormare is due a refund of $1,659.80 from an insurance company;

-- The late Susan Strasberg, daughter of Lee, star of the amazing 1978 horror flick The Manitou, has a lot of claims from Universal Pictures, in the amounts of $180.40, $31.79, $36.61, $21.89, $21.67, $28.90, and $43.57, plus she’s got one claim from MGM, in the amount of $33.53. She also has two claims from Universal Pictures which she shares with her daughter Jennifer Jones (whose father is the late actor Christopher Jones), in the amounts of $30.37 and $96.88;

-- Sally Struthers is due $695.30 from a court settlement. I was in the check-out line next to her when she was buying a whole bunch of cat food at Vons in Studio City, and she was very nice and apologetic to me when the cashier had to leave to do a price-check;

-- Rod Stewart has two payments coming from Disney, in the amounts of $822.00 and $1,644.00. If he thinks he’s sexy and if he wants his own body – then he should try to collect;

-- “Mad T.V.’s” mirth-making cutie Nicole Sullivan is due $798.00 in salary, plus she’s got an old savings account with $57.47 in it. I stood behind her in the ice cream line at the CVS drug store on Fairfax!

-- Kristy Swanson, the original “Buffy,” is entitled to $614.00 from Disney, $105.20 from a store called Esprit de Corp, and $86.25 from Delta Dental.




T:

-- Mr. Sulu himself, George Takei, is owed $141.63 in “vendor payments,” $63.00 in unpaid wages, and $69.55 from Pac Bell. “Klaatu barata nikto,” dude! (I’m no sci-fi buff… so I hope that reference works.)

-- Amber Tamblyn is due $50.00 from Motorola;

-- The late Ned Tanen, studio head, producer, and talent agent, is owed $3,000.00 by Universal Pictures;

-- Quentin Tarantino is due $70.99 (“payment for goods and services”);

-- Here’s a sad one: The late Sharon Tate left $150.00 in a Bank of America checking account, more than forty years ago;

-- Meshach Taylor, from “Designing Women,” is owed $86.92, $44.38, and $39.12 by Paid Prescriptions, Inc., $61.00 from the Mercury Casualty Insurance Company, and he is also entitled to receive $8.95 from Sony, plus $8.64, $5.94, $4.77, and $3.06 from unnamed companies;

-- Charlize Theron is owed $209.00 by NBC/Universal;

-- Henry Thomas, from E.T., is due $1,985.04 from Studio Payroll Services and $114.63 from Paramount Pictures;

-- Emma Thompson is owed $364.55 by an unnamed company;

-- When I was a kid, everybody had his Farrah Fawcett poster, and I did too, but I mostly treasured my Cheryl Tiegs poster. Cheryl is due $163.67 from Tiffany and Company;

-- The late Lawrence Tierney, the great film noir tough guy who might be most famous to younger audiences for having appeared as the chrome-domed crime boss in Reservoir Dogs, is entitled to $313.67 from NBC;

-- Marisa Tomei – she does a body good! – is owed $45.66 by State Farm;

-- 'Mini-Me' himself, Verne Troyer, is due $406.00 from Disney, $287.10 from Warner Bros., and $532.83 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- Tom Tryon (The Longest Day, In Harms Way) $524.47, $178.63, $56.18, $29.11, all from Warner/Chappell Music;

-- Robin Tunney, so good in the 2002 indie Cherish and on the current show “The Mentalist,” is due $554.78 from Time Warner Cable, $304.92 from Universal Pictures, and $121.31 from Warner Bros;

-- Kathleen Turner, who was very good on a recent episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” is owed $665.11 and $652.52 by Disney and $836.18 by Warner Bros.;

-- Tina Turner is owed $154.54 from a bank;

-- John Travolta is entitled to $48.00 from Allstate Insurance;

-- If you had been embalmed, and you didn't have any blood, Shannon Tweed would still make your blood boil. She's owed $252.27 by the Auto Club and $119.02 by Bed Bath and Beyond.




U:

-- Tracey Ullman is owed $370.08 in residuals from an unnamed company;

-- The late, great Peter Ustinov (they don't make 'em like that anymore!) didn’t live long enough to collect the fifty bucks which Disney still owes him.




V:

-- The late Vivian Vance (‘Ethel Mertz’ from “I Love Lucy”) is due $30.00 from Disney;

-- Dick Van Dyke: When I was about four years old, I was standing in the candy aisle of Thrifty drug store in Studio City, which is now a CVS. Dick, who was whistling cheerfully, needed to walk by, and instead of asking me to move over, he lifted me up and carefully placed me out of his path. This is one of my weirdest moments, but a great one. Dick is owed $137.77 in unpaid wages. (Plus: His initials are “DVD!”)

-- Jerry Van Dyke, Dick’s brother, so good on that sit-com “Coach,” is entitled to $677.60 from Fox;

-- Eddie Van Halen and his ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli have to find an amicable way to split the $625.00 they are due, a refund from an insurance company;

-- Van Halen Productions has a $381.52 savings account lying around;

-- The late Nina Van Pallandt is owed $75.11 in residuals;

-- Dick Van Patten is owed both $768.34 and $336.64 by E! Entertainment Television;

-- Multi-talented Ben Vereen (‘Chicken George’ in “Roots,” ‘O’Connor Flood’ in All that Jazz) is owed $616.50 from Disney, $95.81 from the Bank of America, and $48.40 in stock dividends;

-- Kate Vernon is due $55.04 from Universal, $36.40 from Sony, and $35.54 from “Paid Prescriptions, Inc.;”

-- The late stand-up comedian Jackie Vernon, mostly remembered to people my age for having performed the voice of Frosty the Snowman in the eponymous 1969 Rankin-Bass special, is due $116.78 from an insurance company;

-- The late John Vernon (“Dean Wormer” from Animal House: “Mr. Blutarski: Zero point zero!”) is owed $100 by Universal and $63.95 by Sony;

-- Abe Vigoda (yup, he’s still alive, at least at the time I’m writing this) is entitled to receive $105.37 in salary. I’m old enough to remember his sit-com, “Fish;”

-- Sometimes life isn’t too kind to the groovy Jan-Michael Vincent, but Vincent is due $49.30 and $25.00, both from Universal Pictures.




W:

-- Natasha Gregson Wagner is owed $50.00 (“miscellaneous checks”). Her dad, Robert Wagner is luckier, though (see the next entry):

-- Robert Wagner is a great investor, and he’s so cool, he’s not even impressed by the fact that he is due (get a load of this, folks) $23,085.08 (!) in shares of Exxon/Mobil (wow, he’s an oil czar!), $11, 249.88 in stock shares from an unspecified company, both $7,262.73 and $1,354.32 in dividends from AT&T, $1,623.01 by Paramount Pictures, $2,478.30 and $4,451.80 in dividends from an unspecified company, and $1,032.32 in dividends from Chevron/Texaco;

-- The late Ray Walston ('Mr. Hand!') is owed $27.56 by NBC/Universal. I was in an elevator with him once;

-- Smoky-voiced Rachel Ward is due $257.04 from Disney;

-- The late Jack L. Warner, has a savings account with $61.75 still in it;

-- Dionne Warwick knows the way to San Jose, but she doesn’t know that she’s entitled to $592.47 from Topa Insurance Company, $460.70 from Studio Payroll Services, and $251.87 from the State of New Jersey;

-- The late Carol Wayne, who bodaciously aided and abetted Johnny Carson when she co-hosted the semi-regular sketch, ‘Art Fern’s Teatime Movie’ on “The Tonight Show,” is due $32.33 from MGM;

-- The late, yet timeless, John Wayne is due $325.73, $308.13, and $114.41 from MCA Records, $6.17 from Studio Payroll Services… and four cents from Sony!

-- “And a one and a two:” The late Lawrence Welk, king of champagne music, is owed $1,500.00 from stocks, $108.40 and $47.12 in dividends, and $265.17 from Warner Bros.;

-- The Voice of the 20th Century, the late Orson Welles, is owed $1,400.00 from MCA Records (he’s got eight claims, totaling $1,400);

-- Kanye West, through his company Konman Entertainment, is owed both $423.50 and $127.05 in salary, from unnamed sources;

-- George Wendt is owed $258.19 by Disney;

-- What Friar’s Club Roast would have been complete without the humor of the late Slappy White? “Sir Slappington” has two claims, in the amounts of $6.03 and nineteen cents;

-- Red-haired1960s/’70s moptop Johnny Whitaker, from “Family Affair” and all of those Disney movies, is still owed $63.71 by Disney, plus $9.87 and $9.53 by NBC/Universal;

-- The always dependable leading man of the ‘50s and ‘60s, Stuart Whitman, is due $50.00 from “Vision Service Plan;”

-- The late Richard Widmark’s dependents are entitled to his $318.00 court settlement;

-- Funny women are hawt, especially Kristen Wiig, who’s owed $146.38 from municipal bond earnings and $50.00 from AT&T;

-- The late Billy Wilder is owed $149.36 from a court settlement;

-- Jobeth Williams is entitled to receive $129.55 from Disney, $121.16 from NBC/Universal, and $24.25 from an unnamed company;

-- Katt Williams, who makes me laugh ‘til milk is coming out of my nose, even when I’m not drinking milk, is owed $723.30 in unpaid wages, by Disney;

-- Treat Williams, “The Prince of the City” himself, will get a real treat, when he discovers that the Bank of America in Toluca Lake owes him $800.81;

-- Flip Wilson is no longer among us, but the contents of his safety deposit box are. Maybe he thought Geraldine was keeping abreast of them?

-- Rainn Wilson is due $872.25, $772.47, and $29.61 from NBC/Universal;

-- The late t.v. puppeteer (and creator of the artificial heart!) Paul Winchellll has five claims from Disney, in the amount of $980.42 and $98.52, plus three separate claims, each in the amount of $93.80;

-- The late Paul Winfield (Sounder, one of the best children's movies ever made) is due $142.48 from an insurance company;

-- The late Shelley Winters never collected the $2,776.45 is due from “JP Morgan Chase Bank N.A.,” $183.39 from Universal Pictures, or the $78.75 she’s due from Delta Dental;

-- Aayyy! The Fonz – Henry Winker! – is owed $9,046.02, which he never collected from Hancock Savings and Loan; plus, he’s also owed $5.57 in stock dividends;

-- Owen Wilson will feel much happier about life when he learns that he’s due $1,619.34;

-- The late Marie Windsor, film noir firebrand, is owed $83.92 by Warner Bros.;

-- Reese Witherspoon is due $97.42 from Tiffany and Company;

-- Stevie Wonder is blind, yet he sees more than the rest of us: He needs to collect the $2,759.00, $1,170.98, $436.77, $169.26, $136.06, 128.24, $86.41, and $2.04 he’s owed by Disney, the $432.14, $97.96, and $4.78 he’s owed by NBC/Universal, and the $693.76 he’s owed by Creative Artists Agency (CAA);

-- Bokeem Woodbine is owed $764.50 from an unnamed company, $664.23 from Warner Bros., $278.92 from NBC/Universal, $358.45 and $71.23 from Pacific Bell, $170.57 from MGM, $72.56 from News Publishing, Australia (Fox), and $25.26 from Studio Payroll Services;

-- The fine actress who was also Mrs. Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, is due $617.00 in unpaid wages;

-- One of our finest directors, the late William Wyler, together with his wife, Margaret, is due $3,605.70 (“securities exchanged for stocks”). William, alone, is due $550.00 from the Entenergy Corporation.




Y:

-- Amy Yasbeck, the very fine actress who was married to John Ritter, has $600.41 coming to her from an unnamed production company, plus a $50.00 refund from Sears-Roebuck.

-- Neil Young can keep on rockin’ in the free world with the $3,000.41 he’s still owed by MTV, plus the $500.25 he’s owed in salary from an unlisted company. He’s also got two claims of $40 each, from Chevron, probably for stocks;

-- The late Roland Young (“Cosmo Topper” himself, from the great 1937 classic comedy, Topper) passed away in 1953, but he still due $457.24 from MCA Records.




Z:

-- Various members of the Zanuck Family have claims;

-- The Zappa Family: Oodles of claims. Way too many to mention. Frank, Moon, Diva, etc.;

-- Ian Ziering, from the original “90210” cast, is due $147.99, listed as “customer overpayment,” and $576.00 in unpaid salary;

-- Composer Hans Zimmer has to collect his $98.31 in uncollected wages;

-- Daphne Zuniga, from the original “Melrose Place” and Spaceballs, is due $210.42 from a court settlement and $26.33 from Sprint Communications.



Additionally, the New York Treasurer’s Office lists a few Unclaimed Assets of the Rich and Famous, too, but the New York State website doesn’t list the monetary amounts, as we do, here in California. When I peeked at the N.Y. website, I discovered that Robert De Niro has one claim, Al Pacino has four claims, and Martin Scorsese has three.

If any of the abovementioned celebrities feels like he doesn’t want his “free money,” I hope he will donate it to charity. Also, if any of these notables wants to personally thank me, he or she can take me to lunch. I’m a charming luncheon companion, and I promise I won’t “talk about my script.”





Charles Zigman is the author of the new book WORLD’S COOLEST MOVIE STAR: THE COMPLETE 95 FILMS (AND LEGEND) OF JEAN GABIN, VOLUMES ONE AND TWO (Allenwood Press, www.jeangabinbook.com). He takes great pleasure in reuniting celebrities with their money… one celebrity at a time.